The One and Only Me

First Parking Summon of 2012

2012-01-05T21:12:00.000-08:00

You know actually scratch that. This is my first parking summon EVER.

And so the story begins when I was woken up at the ungodly hour of 6:30am in the morning to fetch my mum to school. I only got 4 hours of sleep the night before and really, 4 hours of sleep is definitely not enough for someone to be driving in the middle of rush hour traffic.

After dropping my mum off, I had a dentist appointment. You see, one of my tooth (or rather, two of my teeth), have been giving me great pains lately.

The first one I had it checked about a few months ago. The diagnosis was some scary ass stuff. It appears that my wisdom tooth has grown so cacat-ly that its legs had actually connected to my jawbone. As in all the cases of painful wisdom teeth, it had to be extracted. And that's not the scary part. Because it was connected so to my jawbone, simply extracting it would mean that a piece of my jawbone would be pulled out as well. Therefore, it had to be surgically removed. Here, a crudely drawn x-ray for you to further understand the horror that is my wisdom tooth.

I remember feeling realllllly scared when the dentist told me this. Dentists scare me. I looked at a chart on the wall. It said:

Tooth operation - RM150.

I was shocked and asked the dentist,
Huh? Rm150 just to remove one tooth?

The dentist looked back at me and said,
Nope, yours is RM300.

I was like, what?! I continued to look down the chart, and at the bottom of it, I saw the words:

Major operation - RM300

The words 'major operation' and 'RM300' scared me equally as much.

Terrified, I asked the dentist,
Wh-why is my procedure considered a major operation?

The dentist replied,
Well that's because your tooth is to big to just be surgically removed like that. First, I have to cut it into four halves. Then I have to pull each of those halves out separately. Making sure your jawbone remains intact, of course. And don't think that's the end of it. What about the hole where your tooth was? That of course, would have to be stitched up, or else blood would just be pouring out. Wouldn't want that now, would we?

I think I might have fainted a little. Thank God I was lying on a chair. Ok so anyway, determined to NOT go through that terrifying operation, I ignored the pain until it gradually went away. Sadly enough, this past week, my teeth started hurting again, this time on a different side.

And so we continue our story. After dropping off my mum, and with a heavy heart, I drove my pitiful self and my irksome teeth to the dentist. One thing about the dentist's office, it is extremely un-strategically located. Parking is nearly impossible to find. After 30 minutes, yes, THIRTY freaking minutes, I gave up and parked illegally behind some other fellow illegal parkers. And anyway, I was really sleepy.

So I went up, I sat on the dentist's chair, I stared up into the blinding light, I opened my mouth, the dentists poked every poke-able place possible, and the diagnosis? Another wisdom tooth. Great. My humble subjects, from now on you may only address me as April the Wise.

The whole thing took just 10 minutes, yet by the time I got back to my car, there it was. A parking summon, under my wipers. Fluttering proudly in the wind. Really annoyed, I looked at it. And I was apparently charged under,

Kod 4: meletakkan kereta di tempat selain daripada tempat yang ditentukan.

Loosely translated it meant,

Code 4: Parking your flowering car in a flowering place other than the flowering pre-assigned lot.

Oh oh, and the best part, I was charged RM50 for it. GAH. With a heavy heart, I drove my pitiful self, my irksome teeth, and my motherflowering parking summon to the Majlis Perbandaran building to pay for it. Thinking it was too much, I decided to try my luck in begging the officer to reduce the compound for me. Oh and what a funny officer he was.

'Uncle, kurang sikit lah.'

'Siapa suruh kamu letak kereta di situ?'

'Bukan lah, saya ingat itu parking lot, sebab banyak orang park di situ juga.'

'Oh, jadi jika ada banyak orang park di sungai, kamu park di sungai juga lah?'

'Tak lah, saya mau parking sahaja, bukan mau mati lemas.'

'Haha budak ini, baiklah. Kurang ke RM30 untuk kamu.'

'RM30 sahaja? Kurang lebih sikit lah! Saya sangat sangat miskin.'

'Hoiyoh kamu budak ini! Sudah discount RM20 tak cukup lagi?!'

'Kesian sayalah, masa itu saya mau pergi cari dentist, sebab gigi saya sangat sakit, tak ada tenaga pergi cari parking yang lain.'

'Oh yakah, apa masalah dengan gigi kamu?'

'Oh, saya tumbuh itu wisdom tooth.'

'Wisdom tooth? Apa tu?'

'Err..err..gigi yang berilmu? Saya pun tak tau Bahasa Melayu panggil apa.'

'Cheh! Tipu saya! Orang yang berilmu tak akan park di situ!'

'Haha, sebab gigi saya itu tumbuh separuh sahaja, jadi saya masih belum berilmu lagi.'

'Hoiyoh budak ini! Baiklah RM25! Jangan nak minta kurang lagi! Cepat cepat pergi sebelum saya kena pecat!'

'Uncle ah...' I wanted to see how far back I could push the figure.

'NAK MINTA KURANG LAGI?!?!'

'Bukan lah, bukan lah, nak cakap thank you sahaja. Hahahaha.'

'Hoiyoh budak ini!!! Jangan park kat situ lagi! Saya letih cakap dengan kamu!'

That officer was so funny! He kept calling me budak ini. I was trying to control my laughter throughout the whole conversation. His facial expressions were indescribable. Especially his exasperated face. Couldn't blame him though, I was there nearly 10 minutes just begging him to reduce the amount. But also he looked like he wanted to laugh too. So really, humour saves lives..and money.

And finally, photo evidence of this fateful day. Today, I am RM25 poorer.

DIGI iPhone 4SURE SIRI ANSWERS

2011-12-28T03:01:00.000-08:00

Being the lazy ass person that I am, Siri would be the best companion ever because he's basically like my slave. A very expensive slave I might add. I don't think domestic help even costs that much. Oh well, domestic help isn't as funny as Siri is.

I would also get Siri to type all my texts for me, even if it's just a simple 'OK'. See, in real life, my friends would never do that for me. They might even hit me if I even dared suggest it.

Other than that, I could tell Siri all my secrets and he'll never tell anyone else. Unless maybe if he decides to betray me when I suddenly get an Android or something. Serves me right though in that situation. Haha.

And why is Digi my best companion? Well, basically because Digi powers Siri, so they sort of come in a packaged deal. And anyway the little yellow Digi dudes are so adorable. Awww.

DIGI iPhone 4SURE 4 ME

2011-12-27T21:17:00.001-08:00

Why do I want the iPhone 4s. Well first of all, I don't want it, I need it.

My phone has been giving me problems for the past few weeks. I haven't been able to answer calls. I don't know why. What if it's an important phone call? What if it's a billionaire on the other side of the line, waiting for me to sign a billion dollar contract?

Not that I have any billionaires on my contact list anyway. If that was the case, it would mean that I was a billionaire myself. Which I'm not. I'm just a student. I'm happy not having any money and eating Ramen all day in my hostel. Which is why I'm blogging right now and not out earning money.

Oh who am I kidding, I can't even afford Ramen anymore. Oh gosh, this is depressing. I'm depressed.

I've wanted an iPhone all my life but sadly, all I get are Nokias. Which are great! Don't get me wrong. These babies are so hardy they could...crack crabs. I swear on it. But still, the iPhone has always been my coveted object of materialism.

I did try asking for one from my parents. They rejected me on 2 basis. One, they claim that they are as broke as I am. Which I highly doubt since they have enough money to call me every night to check up on me. Second, they said that they wanted to teach me discipline and...stuff. There was more on that lecture but I complete zoned out after discipline.

I tried my luck anyway. I told them I wanted an iPhone for Christmas. I was hoping that maybe, maybe, my parents would be so filled with Christmas spirit that they might actually get me an iPhone. However to prevent my hopes from being dashed too badly, I decided to ask Siri if I would succeed in getting one for Christmas, but suddenly realized I could not because I have no iPhone.

So instead, I improvised and got a magic 8 ball. I named it Siti. Then I asked,
Siti, will I get an iPhone for Christmas?

Siti said no. That was sad.
And Siti was right. That was sadder.

So really, it's all up to Nuffnang now to mend my broken heart. In the meantime, I'll be out on the streets begging for ramen. Goodbye!

Digi iPhone 4SURE MOST AFFORDABLE

2011-12-27T21:03:00.001-08:00

I'm not going to go into details here on all the prices and stuff. You can head on over here yourself to check out the rate plans. Or if you're lazy like me, all you need to know is that Digi offers ridiculously cheap rates.

I'll sum it up for you. At RM55, you get almost as much usage from Maxis for RM100. Note: this are the cheapest rates from both parties. You don't have to take my word for it. Again, go to the website to have a look yourself.

But actually, the best thing I like about the Digi plan is the auto-billing rebate. Auto billing is something where Digi automatically deducts your monthly fee straight from your bank account every month. When you sign up for auto-billing, you get a RM5 rebate, just like that. Is that awesome, or is that awesome?!

Now I know what some of you are thinking.

It's all just a marketing scam! Digi is trying to bind us eternally to a lifetime commitment of using their wretched plans!

First of all, think of the 'marketing scam' as more of an 'intelligent investment'. You already know that Digi is the cheapest plan out there, and you're not going to change to another, more expensive plan are you? No, you're not, because we're Malaysians and we save money. That's what we do. So why not save money WHILE saving money? It's a win-win situation!

Other than that, the auto-billing saves you the trouble from paying it yourself, so really. It's actually more of a win-win-win situation. Awesome plan eh? Not so wretched now, is it? Well you know what they say. Digi, always the smarter choice.

Must. Win. For. Once.

2011-12-27T20:57:00.000-08:00

Do you know that I'm the unluckiest person ever? Never once have I won anything. Not lucky draws, not the lottery, not gambling. In fact, I suck at gambling. I may have the best hand possible and still manage to somehow lose. Maybe this is God's way of telling me that I shouldn't be gambling in the first place, but really, the odds creep me out sometimes.

So instead of doing it the lazy way, I've decided it's time to try doing it the hard way. I will try to win something by actually putting in effort. *Gasp*

Those who know me well, know that being hard-working is definitely not one of my strong points. In fact if you play those describe-your-friend-with-one-word-games, possible words for me would be, lazy, procrastinator, or maybe even drop-dead-gorgeous (Yes, that's one word). But never hard-working.

Anyway my point is, Nuffnang is having this competition to win an iPhone 4S. The rules: submit 4 blog posts in 48hours. And let me tell you, this is no easy feat. You have to be un-lazy and blog within the given topics. Oh and also the deadline is 11:45pm tonight.

Stiff competition for sure, so the only thing I can do right now is to hope and persevere in the failure of others. HAHA. It's a joke. That was a joke. All the best to everyone.

-The End-

DiGi iPhone 4SURE I DO 1ST

2011-12-26T09:53:00.000-08:00

What I'd do with my iPhone 4 first. Hmm.

I'll prowl day and night by my gate, waiting for the postman's arrival. Once he alights from his motorbike and hands over the package, I will grab it from his hands shouting 'My precious! My precious!', and crouch in the corner, cradling the iPhone in my arms.

After ferociously baring my teeth at the postman when he tries to get near me for the signing of the package, I will slowly retreat backwards into my house like some feral creature, glaring and hissing all the way till I'm back inside.

After I'm safely back in my home, I will place my beloved package upon my humble coffee table, and gaze adoringly upon it for a disturbing period of time (creeping out my family members in the process). Maybe I'd even frame it up for a few days. Get a custom-made frame for it. Heh.

Anyway when I've finally opened the thing, I would Carve an 'S' on the front of the phone. So that people KNOW it's an iPhone 4s, and not just a lame-ass iPhone 4. My iPhone would stand out from the rest! And anyway, the carving would add an aesthetic value to the whole design of the phone, would it not?

Okay so that was the first thing I'd do. Just for kicks, what's the second thing I'll do?

Shamelessly bragging about it is a given. Naw, I'm not that mean. I'll brag moderately, within limits.

The second thing I would do is, I'd probably be so thankful to Nuffnang that I'd sell away the iPhone and donate it all back to the company. Naw, I'm not that nice. But I will shamelessly promote Nuffnang online..via iPhone4s.

Like a boss.

Me in Hatyai = bad

2011-12-15T00:04:00.000-08:00

Hey there. I just came back from Hatyai approximately 2 days ago, and this could possibly be one of my randomest trips ever, anywhere. Even a trip to Tesco isn't this random.

Why?

During finals week, my mum suddenly called me. Expecting words of encouragement (or rather, words of nagging) telling me to study, she asks me instead,

'Eh girl, when are your finals over?'

And I was like
'Uhh, Saturday. Why?'

And then my mum said,
'Okay, good. We're going to Hatyai on Sunday. Study ah.'

*click*

And I just stood there like, wutttttt.

So did I like Hatyai? My answer, loud and clear. NO. It's horrible. Why would anyone go there?!

It's not so much the place actually. The place is actually very Malaysia-ish. No, what really pissed me off was the people! They say Thailand is the land of smiles. Well then obviously they do not realize that Hatyai is a part of Thailand! Not all of them, mind you. Just some random dudes that I have the great misfortune to meet.

You know if I have time, I am SO going to upload a video of myself ranting about Hatyai.

Apart from that though, Hatyai food was awesome. What I loved the most was the tu kah pui! Pig leg rice in English. No wait, the name pig leg rice does not do this dish justice. We need a high class name for this. Let's see, how about:

Pork cutlets served with exotic grains.

Ahh, that sounds better.

This plate of awesome-ness contained an egg, some vegetables, some pork (duh), and pork fats. Now this is the interesting part. I HATE fats. Never touched them throughout my whole life. They taste and look disgusting. BUT. This Hatyai-ian fats tasted soooo good! The texture was not at all disgusting (on the contrary, it was soft and tender. Not slimy and goo-ey), and it tasted nothing like Malaysian fats!

Hands down to the Thais. They make good fats. *clap clap clap*

The other really awesome thing that I liked was the Spinach Pie from their McD's! No words can describe the awesomeness that is Spinach Pie!

Spinach Pie! YUMM!

And also, oh gosh. We must have bought a year's supplies of Lays there. Lays' are freaking cheap in Thailand!!

Also found in abundant in Thailand are bras. No idea why, but yeah. Bras EVERYWHERE.

Yeah just an update. I'll rant later and upload the video of it if I'm not lazy. So probably, they will be no video. Haha.

Helpless

2011-11-12T03:44:00.001-08:00

The title of this post has got you thinking I'm pretty emo now, no?

But unlike most girls who are emo over breakups, I sadly am not pretty enough to experience the breakup kind of emo. Which is a good thing, because at least then I won't die committing suicide or something.

FOREVER ALONE!

My emo comes from being locked in my hostel. It all happened when I lost my keys about a week ago. (My cousin ended up finding it in her bag, God knows what happened there). But since I only see my cousin on weekends when I go over to stay (everyone goes back on the weekends), I had to rely on my housemates in the meantime to unlock the door for me.

However, since I was volunteering at SPCA today, I decided to only go over later in the evening. And I stupidly forgot all about my key-less situation as I bid the last housemate to leave the house goodbye.

I soon realized my mistake however when I started feeling hungry a few hours later and wanted to go out to buy food. I took my money, put on some presentable clothes, decided on a place to eat, mentally mapped out the shortest way to get there, put my phone in my pocket, and then walked to the door. I then shoved my hand into my pocket, trying to fish out my keys, and that's when it hit me.

I HAVE NO KEYS.

On the inside I was like,

'Oh crap. I'm locked in'

And a few seconds later I was like,

'OH CRAP. I'M LOCKED IN TILL MONDAY!'

Why? Because none of my housemates are coming back till Monday. If you don't see me actively updating stuff on facebook, I most probably died of starvation.

'Well tell your warden or something!', is what I imagine most people would be thinking right now. First off, I'm not that dumb okay, that was exactly the first thing I thought of. Let's continue on with the story.

Immediately, I pulled out my phone and dialled the warden's number. And then I heard the worst thing a person locked in a hostel could possibly ever hope to hear...

"You have insufficient credit to make this call. Please reload at your nearest Maxis centre...'

And I was like,

PHONE Y U NO CREDIT!!

And to add on to everything, I woke up sick today. Sore throat, slight fever and flu. Germs which I caught from my friends. The sore throat I caught from Xiang Ni, who has powerful germs (I'm assuming) because she has had sore throat for 2 weeks now and hasn't recovered from it yet. Either that or her immune system is horrible. The sore throat was partially my fault as well because I insisted on drinking from her bottle and eating her food while she was sick, thinking I was superman, immune to the germs of the common people.

And the fever I caught it from Finsen. He was suffering from horrible fever yesterday. I'm talking fainting, nosebleed and the whole enchilada, and I still drank from his bottle.

What is up with me and drinking people's water?!

And the flu? No one has the flu but I have it anyway. Xiang Ni thinks that when fever germs mix with sore throat germs, the chemical reaction combines to form flu germs. And these flu germs have caused me to waste three quarters of a roll of toilet paper already from blowing my nose. And I just got the flu this morning.

So being sick and hungry, I crawled to the kitchen to see what little food I had. Being the lazy ass I am, I knew there wasn't much hope of finding food because I never cooked and always ate out. My cooking skills just..appal. And true enough, I only found ONE thing. A carton of milk..half drank.

So, really, I only found half a thing.

And I was like,

I started thinking of how I was going to ration out my miserable half a carton of milk to make it last until Monday or I'd die. But then, being sick and reallly hungry, the rational side of my brain got clouded. And what happened? I...downed the rest of the milk in one gulp.

After that I was like,

I'm gonna die.

And there you have it ladies and gentleman, one of my most helpless days explained. Through Memes. Don't worry though, I'm gonna get out of this place..sooner or later anyway.

I'll keep you posted!

The story that has no moral whatsoever

2011-08-10T03:51:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there lived an ugly man. Villagers and random good-looking people would jeer at him all day. The ugly man tried to ignore the taunts and took it all in his stride.

One day, an especially good looking guy (like, really good looking) made fun of him. Ugly man decided he could take it no more and ran to a nearby river to cry. He poured his heart out to the fish in the river, but seeing how ugly he was, they swam away.

He poured his heart out to a swarm of bees, but seeing how ugly he was, they immediately migrated their hives.

He poured his heart out to a tree, the tree died.

Just when he thought there was no one else in the world to comfort him, he heard a whisper, and it was the kindest, most heart-warming whisper in the world. All that was whispered was this: hey.

Ugly man looked around, and was bewildered to find a caterpillar staring directly up at him from a leaf. The caterpillar was smiling and smiling, such a happy thing it was.

With tears still streaming down his face, ugly man replied

H-H-Hello..

And then Caterpillar said,
Cheer up! Everyone can be beautiful, just like me! Watch me! See you soon!

And with that, the caterpillar disappeared into its cocoon.

-THE END-

Omegle.com

2011-08-05T07:24:00.000-07:00

Okay so I've just found out about this awesome site not too long ago called www.omegle.com Basically, it's a chatroom where the server allows you to have a one on one chat with random strangers, and yeah. It's pretty fly. It's like writing on your school desk table and having someone reply you.

It's pretty entertaining most of the time, but you do have your fair share of perverts/paedophiles/retards. Not wanting to sound racist or anything, but if the person is from India, all he probably wants to talk about is penises. So everytime time you meet an India Indian or something, just hit Esc 3 times in a row. That'll take you to a random new stranger right away.

The first time I went on this website however, I had like 10 people from India in a row. Just my luck. Maybe it was the timezone problem or maybe it was an auspicious time for the people of India to go online at that time. One of them was actually okay though, he was like this freaky Gandhi worshipper, and now I have tons of useless facts about Gandhi that I will never use.

I respect Gandhi and all, but when I say useless facts, I mean really useless facts. For example, did I really need to know that Gandhi carried his fake teeth around in his loin cloth? And that he spoke English with an Irish accent?

So anyway, my point is you'll meet many kinds of people on Omegle. First up, are the people who'll just ask ASL, which means age, sex, location.

A hint: people who usually ask this are perverts. Feel free to hit the Esc key everytime you see the asl's. If not, you'll just end up having pointless conversations like me:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl?
You: you first.
Stranger: 17/m/horny. u?
You: 18, f, NOT horny.
You have disconnected.

Other than that, you gotta get used to rejection.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hey!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

He didn't even answer =(
And then you'll also meet some hostile ones, and I worry about them. They need therapy.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi. =)

Stranger: DIE YOU NIGGA

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Whoa what's up with all the hostility? But then once in a while, you'll meet some real gems. Quality conversation are what these people can hold!

Nah I'm not gonna bore you with awesome funny conversation. Long lines of text puts people off, so only click if you like long lines of funny stuff.

Click here for the gems!

-THE END-

Short Post 3: BBQ convo

2011-08-04T16:34:00.000-07:00

So as afore mentioned, we had a BBQ party on Saturday. Meat, meat and more meat. There is surprisingly little vegetables during barbecues. I believe that we are evolving into a carnivorous generation.

FYI, do you know eating beef indirectly contributes to global warming? Apparently cows fart a lot and their fart is so toxic it just stabs holes into the atmosphere. But since people love the taste of cows so much, cow owners have to reproduce them in mass amounts to satisfy our cravings for beef. And yes you guessed it.

More cows = more fart = more holes in the atmosphere = global warming

Cow plus cow equals cows

More cows plus more cows equals to lots of fart

And err, I'm sorry but I don't know how to draw atmosphere/global warming so I can't complete the rest of the pictures. Also I'm lazy. Haha.

So anyway, we ate a lot of meat during the barbecue and basically ruined all of our diets. After not meeting for so long (all of us are studying at different places. What are the odds right?), everyone was like

"Argh, Fat already lah..really fat already lah.."

But you couldn't tell that we were keeping a watch on our diets by the amount we were eating.

Just try coming over and say:

'Who wants some chicken wing?'

The immediate image you will see is:

So anyway, Ming Zhen and I were just sitting on the bench, waiting for our slaves to serve us food. Or rather, waiting for someone to leave their food unguarded then quickly stealing it. Barbecuing food is just so much work, no? People should really learn some food protection techniques.

While we were chatting and keeping our eye out for unguarded food, Rui Ni's sister (Rui Ni was the person who owned the house we were having the BBQ at) appeared suddenly in front of us holding some cups.

And then being the sweetheart she is, she asked:

'Hey, I'll just wash these cups and get you guys some Sarsi, alright?'

And I replied:

'Oh, thank you so much! Kamsa hamida! Kamsa hamida!'

Yeah, I'm currently addicted to Korean dramas. I even did that head bob thing that came with the Kamsa hamida. And then Ming Zhen was staring at me like,

And I was like,

'What? What's that face for?'

And she said,

'Since when you so polite huh?'

And I replied,

"Abo? Takkan you want me to say, 'MOVE IT, BITCH'?"

In other news, we were again sitting on the bench. JuLynn, out of boredom, used her plastic fork to suddenly stab at Ming Zhen's plate.

And then Ming Zhen showed that face again and was like,

'What on earth are you doing?'

And Julynn, being lame said,

'Oh no lah, I saw a housefly on your plate.'

And then Ming Zhen said,

'Oh I know. I saw it and I wanted to eat it, but you chased it away.'

Yes, this is how lame we are. We were lame on a daily basis during secondary school up till SPM. OMG thinking back, we barely studied. All we did was had pretend study groups and then muck about all day. It was horrible. Like Zi Yue said, if we had stayed home like good little boys and girls, we might have all been JPA scholars by now. It was a miracle that I got 9A's. All of us did well actually. Just not well enough to be a JPA scholar. Haha.

You wouldn't have guessed we were SPM students if you saw us 'studying'. One week before the exam, we were inventing new games with our jackets. It was kinda fun. First you wore your jacket the other way round with the hoodie in front. Another person would then go to the other side of the room, grab a random object from a pencil case, and start throwing it at you. You would then have to catch the random object with your hoodie. And yes, we played that for the whole day.

It was a miracle we got any A's at all. Well thank God for that.

Short Post 2: Enfagraow A+

2011-08-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

Ahh, we had a BBQ party on Saturday night, and were in charged of going to Tesco to get the food.

While walking towards the sausage aisle, we passed by an Enfagrow free sample station. There were cups and milk there, but no one to hand them out.

Being the milk lover that I am, I went towards the station and self-serviced myself. I picked up a cup and filled myself some milk.

Just as I drank my first sip, the sales lady appeared out of NOWHERE, and asked:

'Do you think this Enfagrow milk is suitable for you?'

And all my friends stood there and laughed at me, when actually they were queuing up behind me waiting to drink Enfagrow too.

Though the saleslady laughed and smiled along with my friends, I'm sure she was evil.

Milk is universal okay?!

I just hid behind my friends with the cup of shame.

FML.

Other stupid things I've done in the same day:

See if I went with my mum, these would never have happened.

Photoblog: Chillin' by the beach

2011-07-29T12:02:00.000-07:00

So yeah, I have a friend who has a beach side house. I mean, you know, no biggie, everyone has a friend who owns a beach side house, right? Pfft, big deal.

Now look at the rocks and be jealous..be very, very jealous..

Are you done being jealous?

Good.

Now look at more rocks.

Okay now that I've run out of rock pictures, let the post begin.

We came here to picnic after our finals, and by picnic I mean sit on a random rock and eat junk food. Look at how wholesome we are! Look at the balanced diet we are having!

That's what we call breakfast. Ah, kids these days. To make things less unhealthy, we had some apong too. I don't know how to spell apong, and I don't know the English word for apong. But the squiggly red lines underneath the apongs indicating spelling error are annoying the hell out of me. So let's just call apong 'Brown things' from now on.

Don't these semi-healthy brown things look delicious? They ARE. Be jealous, be very, very jealous. Now scoll up toward the rock pictures again for emphasis!

Anyway, it was upon these rocks that we ate. Might as well introduce the rock people while we're at it.

The person on the left with the brown hair and pink highlights is the owner of all these rocks. Yes, she is Isaura, a.k.a beach side house owner.

The one with the outdated peace sign is Si Jie, our maid from Indonesia, though sometimes when the sun is really hot, she can originate from Africa.

The freaky looking one with the nasi lemak is Finsen. I don't know what that face is for. Everyone else is looking normal in the picture.

The one in the black shirt (who later changed into a multi-coloured bikini, woots!) is Fidelia, and she's ditching us for some UM scholarship to study musical performance soon. What kind of friend is that?!

And where am I? I'm here, hiding behind these rocks. Why? Because I can.

Nah just kidding. It was because the sun was being gay and I didn't want to further blacken myself, the difference in my skin tone is already obvious as it is, so I hid behind the rocks.

Hiding behind rocks has it's drawbacks. First of all, it was extremely hard to reach for food as all the food was up there. And secondly, it was hard to pick up on conversations. I had to constantly yell up there to remind people to speak louder.

Eventually I gave up and went back up on the rock. But the sun was still gay .

Look at me eating in pain. This is not doing anything for my skin tone. Tsk.

Okay, short post, short post. Let's just briefly recap the rest of the day.

Fidelia posed sexily

I ate sexily

Finsen got a cramp trying to eat sexily

We chased crabs and actually caught one

We found a dead jellyfish and actually poked one

I drew a picture

Finsen vandalised my picture

It got worse

I tried to repair it

He mocked me

Isaura and Si jie ignored everything else and camwhored

Fidelia and I also camwhored

Finsen camwhored by climbing a tree

Fidelia camwhored in Sepia mode

Isaura and Si jie camwhored again

And then we all camwhored...

...on a rock. This rock was extra special because we had to wade through the water to get to it. It was in the middle of the sea! (And by middle of the sea I mean 20 steps away from the sea shore.)

And for some reason after all the camwhoring, we just stood there. Which is funny because we all look kinda lost.

-THE END-

Oh wait! I found another picture of more rocks!

-OFFICIAL THE END-

Short Post One: Spaghetti Racism

2011-07-27T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hello there, due to excessive free time on my hands, I have decided to blog more often. Rather than sitting around shooting zombies all day in Left for Dead 2 and immersing myself in the world of Korean dramas, I decided to do something more....productive. At least blogging would improve my writing and spelling and stuff.

While playing L4D2 does improve manual dexterity, I doubt the world would ever require my zombie killing skills.

Korean dramas are even worse. They remind me of how single and unloved I am. Damn those happy couples in Korean dramas! Why is it that Malaysian guys are so unromantic?! And the actors are SO handsome. To all the guys out there: would it kill you all to be as handsome, as tall and as gentleman-ly?! With that said, the Koreans are kind of gay though. What with all their tight clothing and constant crying. And wow can these Koreans cry. Want to be an actor in Korea? Be able to cry at will.

Something I found in Tumblr which I find very appropriate.

I also want to add that before this, I thought ~~Korean/Taiwanese/Japanese/HongKong/Cantonese dramas~~ dramas in general were lame. I eat my words!

So anyway, I want to blog more often now. However, they would just be short posts. Short posts would not be as long or have as many pictures. Just normal length you know..like a real blog! It'd be like a filler in between the really long ones.

Why?

I wish I could deliver awesome funny stuff daily, really I wish I could. But contrary to popular believe, weird things do not happen to me everyday. They do happen to me on a very frequent basis, believe me, God has an awesome sense of humor. I have 18 years of anecdotal proof that He does. They just don't happen everyday.

Plus, it's actually kind of tiring...my brain refuses to come up with awesome stuff at will. A post could take up to a few days to complete. Mainly because I have a problem in concentrating and always have like a thousand tabs opened at once. But also because pictures take a long time to draw and I want to perfect the posts before publishing them.

And also I'm lazy.

So anyway, without further ado, I present to you, my first short post ever: Spaghetti Racism! (Though it's kinda ironic now how this is turning into a rather long post.)

Today, against my will, I was dragged all the way to Tesco where I was supposed to help my mum pick vegetables.

Somehow along the way, we walked by some noodle aisle, where they sell all sorts of noodles. My mum saw all these Spaghettis on sale, and she couldn't resist it.

She was like,
Hey, want to buy Spaghetti or not?

And I was like,
You've never cooked Spaghetti in your life.

And she was like,
Haiya, easy only lah. My friend taught me how to cook before. Just add water only.

And I was all,
Just add water?! Are you sure your friend was talking about Spaghetti?!

And she said,
Something like that. Haiya, just follow what the packet says lah.

I picked up a packet of Spaghetti noodle and read the instructions,
Boil pasta in a pot of water for 1 minute. After that, remove pasta from pot. Pasta is now ready to be eaten.

And I was like,
Wow, that was informative.

And my mum said,
Just buy the sauce and pour on the Spaghetti lah. How hard can it be? If really don't know how to cook then you can go and help me search on the Google. The Google got everything these days.

And was all,
For the last time, you don't need to add 'the' in front of Google. It's just Google! Not the Google. And secondly, I'm not so free to go and search for Spaghetti recipe for you lah.

And she was like,
What what, I everyday see you on the Facebook, search one recipe for me very hard meh?

And I was like,
Oh my goodness! Stop adding 'the' in front of everything!

And she was all,
Nah, there! Here got Spaghetti sauce. I think you just pour this on the Spaghetti then can eat already.

And I said,
Ok lor, you ma buy lor.

And she asked,
Want to buy which brand leh? Which brand tastes nicer?

And I answered,
How on earth would I know? You've never cooked this before, remember?

And she replied,
Then I just cincai take one la. But so small bottle only, don't know whether enough or not. Better take two lah.

And I replied,
See, you've totally fallen for Tesco's marketing scam. You were supposed to buy ONE packet of Spaghetti noodle only. Now you've ended up buying that, PLUS 2 cans of spaghetti sauce that are NOT on sale.

My mum ignores me and continues browsing for Spaghetti sauce.

After a while she was like,
This Prego brand okay or not? So I just buy two bottles of the same flavour okay?

And I'm like,
What flavour is that?

And she answered,
Classic tomato sauce.

And I suggested,
Haiya, try variety a bit lah. Buy one tomato and one carbonara lah.

And she was like,
Where? Where got Carbonara?

And I was like,
There, this one. The white one.

And she was all,
Yerr! Don't want lah. White colour sure not nice to eat one.

And I was like,
Hey carbonara is nice okay!

And she said,
No no no, Spaghetti should always be red in colour. Other colours won't taste nice.

And I was totally like,
Oh my goodness. This is absurd. Spaghetti with Carbonara sauce is famous. Spaghetti with Carbonara sauce is well-known. Haven't you tried it before?!

And she was all,
Don't want. I don't trust white Spaghetti.

And I was like,
This is totally racism. You don't have 1Malaysia spirit. I'm disappointed in you.

And she was like,
Never mind, Spaghetti is Italian food, not Malaysian food, so it's okay.

After which, one packet of Spaghetti noodle and two bottles of classic tomato spaghetti sauce was bought.

-THE END-

Ask me stuff!

2011-07-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

Hello there people. I have recently just discovered that it is possible to create another page. I intend to abuse my new found knowledge by creating an about page, so ask me anything!

It could be about how awesome I am, or how to be awesome (like I am), or are you awesome (like I am) (which I doubt) (but ask me anyway!)

Or it could be something profound you know, like 'what is the answer to the universe?' or 'what is the true meaning of happiness?'

It could also be something I know nothing of, like how to cure Herpes. Or how to contract Herpes. (If you DO ask me this, then really. I worry about you.)

Really, just ask me anything.
You could email me your questions at aprilmelodytan@yahoo.com
Or you could just comment down there.
Whichever, makes you happy. =)

In the meantime, go here! Though there's nothing in it due to temporary construction.
There IS a picture though.
Click it.
CLICK IT..
http://chickenzunited.blogspot.com/p/about-page.htm

What do you do when you see the Agong?

2011-06-27T03:08:00.000-07:00

A typical journey from my hostel to the jetty takes 45 minutes.

On Friday, I booked my 1.30pm bus ticket online from Butterworth to Kamunting. My class ended at 10:00am, so I actually had lots of time to get to the jetty.

But things seldom go my way. (Mostly due to lack of planning, but to boost my self-esteem, lets call this lack of planning 'spontaneous-ity' shall we?) And on Friday, things indeed did not go my way.

So after class, we went for lunch as is our tradition. There's nothing much to do except eat after class. Well, studying is an option, but meh.

And so our story begins.

We all headed down to the car park, because where else would one park a car? Anywhere nearest possible to an entrance apparently, because in INTI there is serious lack of space. Like, SERIOUSLY. If not for double parking at every lot, most of the car owners would not have any parking space at all. Not surprising then that during random hours of the day, the PA system would come on and say

"Paging for car owner bla bla bla random number random number random number, please move your car immedietly. I repeat, paging for car owner..."

So anyways, we got into the car and our driver, Mr.Finsen Ong, started the car but neglected to buckle on his seatbelt. Irresponsible driver! Oh please don't get me started on the scariness of his driving. It is uncountable the times we almost passed away in his car. However, he is currently the ONLY person with a car among our circle of friends, so really we have no choice. Damn I totally made friends with the wrong people.

Oh! Stepheny has a car too, but her car is currently in the hospital. Where Finsen drives with speed, Stepheny overtakes. Seriously, entering their car is like signing a death contract. Lines on the road mean nothing to Steph. To her, its like art..the lines are modern art.

Where was I? Oh yes, Finsen did not put on his seatbelt. And so Isaura says,

"Yorr, why you never put on your seatbelt? Later sure got police one."

No sooner had she said this than a gang of police was waiting right at the corner. What coincidence! But then someone said that the police was there because of the Agung. It was rumored that he was going to grace us with his presence in Penang. Frankly, I couldn't care less where the Agung placed his presence, so as long as those police weren't traffic police and we weren't getting saman-ed, I was happy.

And so we went to Genting cafe in Penang, and it was there that I had the best non-Hong Kong styled Chee Cheong Fan in my life! Awesome Chee Cheong Fan people! I should text the Agung and let him know of this place!

After that, I was dropped off at a bus stop. According to Finsen and my uncle, this road was the main road. In fact, the road is so main that all buses should pass by this road. The rest went off to get cake for a surprise birthday party which sadly, I couldn't attend because I was facing bankruptcy. I had only RM3 in my wallet. Spit broke I was. Sad. =(

30 minutes later

I was still at the bus stop. I was getting fidgety. Usually, even at non-main road bus stops, some buses would have passed by by now. It has been half an hour and ZERO Rapids have passed by. There was something wrong. Very wrong.

I got up to pace my nervousness away. In the end, I decided to walk further up to find a new bus stop in hope that more buses passed by that one.

Every few steps or so, I would turn around to check if there were any rapids coming. There were none. And so I continued walking. I walked and walked. I turned and turned. I walked and turned. I turned and walked.
In the end I reached a second bus stop, and I sat there. Though what difference that made I have no idea because I was still on the same stretch of road.

One thing though I noticed was that on the other side of the road, there were actually a few Rapids passing by. Although I knew that none of them would reach the jetty because they were moving in the other direction, I decided to give it a try anyway. Wrong rapids are better than no rapids.

So after sitting at the 2nd bus stop for 10minutes, I decided to cross the road. Further up the road was a flyover, and I walked towards it.

Bear in mind that I was already tired by then. The distance between the first bus stop and second bus stop wasn't near at all. And now I had to walk from the second bus stop to the flyover, which wasn't near too. I mean, it wasn't that far, but it wasn't near either. And I was carrying my backpack all over the place. Due to the lack of exercise, I consider this a full body workout.

Naturally, I was sad to see all the stairs leading up to the flyover. Sigh. I climbed all the way up, sidestepping a beggar on the way. I reached the top and walked across to the other side, side stepping another beggar as well. Why do the beggars sit here anyway? Rich people do not use flyovers!

As soon as I reached the other side, a rapid showed up. Of course it didn't go to the jetty. I already knew that before I crossed the road. Why did I even bother then?

I looked at the time, it was already 12:45pm! Gasp! I still had to take a ferry across to Butterworth before I could catch my 1:30pm bus! Desperate times called for desperate measures, I needed transport badly. Hence the phone was brought out and my cousin's number was dialled.

"Hello? Sher Lynn, where are you?"

"In the bus lor..almost reaching KL already. Why?"

"Argh!"

*click*

I called cousin number two.

"Hello, Yen Lynn, are you free now?"

"Nope, I'm working. Why?"

"Argh! I need transport to the jetty to catch my bus."

"Oh okay, you can try calling my dad and see."

"Okay okay."

*click*

So I called my uncle next. I feel kinda bad because everybody was working. I told my uncle my location, and he said okay, he was going to pick me up at BHP petrol station. After hanging up the phone, I started looking for it.

And when I saw the outline of the building I almost fainted. It was SO FAR AWAY!

I wished it could be here, but no.

I hoped this was the furthest the petrol station would be, but no.

Nooooo. It had to be far far far away.

It was on the other side of the road, and located about a few hundred metres in front of the FIRST bus stop. Ah well, what did I expect. Things like that happen to me all the time. I was resigned to my fate. So I began walking towards the petrol station and only planned to cross the road when I got there.

Bad, bad decision.

By the time I got ALL THE WAY THERE, I realized that crossing the road was impossible because of all the CARS. I mean, what's up with that?! CARPOOL PEOPLE!

I spent the next 5 minutes trying to cross the road in vain before I realized my efforts were futile. I began my walk of shame ALL THE WAY BACK to the flyover. By then, I realized my uncle would reach the petrol station before me if I didn't hurry up now because I still had a long way to go. Fuelled by this thought, I started jogging.

To add on to that, the heat was so oppressive. I was getting impatient and irritated. It's hard to remain cheerful after all these obstacles, no? Don't judge me I'm only human!

So back to the jogging. I jogged all the way back to the flyover, up the stairs, jumped over the beggars and got back to the other side of the road. Then I began my journey back to the BHP station.

However, as I walked, I noticed something was not right. Wondering what it was, I looked up, and noticed that there were no cars! Strange. The whole road was free of cars. Just as I was wondering what was up, a whole gang of policemen in motorcycles appeared in the distance, riding in a V formation.You know, like when geese migrate or something, they fly in a V shape. That was exactly the shape of the formation.

Behind the policemen/geese people, were another 2 cars. Both were heavily tinted, the windows were so black you couldn't see through at all. Behind these cars were another 2 motorcycles. It was then that it occurred to me: It was the Agung!

I was so freaking annoyed at this revelation. It was the Agung that caused the lack of Rapids, caused me to walk all over the place and caused me to miss my bus! I mean I respect the Agung and all, but does he really need the whole road? Absurd! Before I could properly processed my thoughts, I heard a helicopter flying overhead. And I was like, the Agung needs a helicopter? SERIOUSLY?!

By then, the whole armada had reached where I was walking. As they passed by, I looked impatiently at them. They were actually so close I could have tapped on the window if I wanted to. But no, I needed to get to the petrol station.

To cut a already very long story short, I missed my bus and everything. And to add on to that, I had to borrow money from my uncle because I had no more money to buy my bus ticket. Completely broke.

As I was relating this story to my friend, he actually gasped out loud.

"Why? What?"

"Oh my goodness, I can't belive it."

"What what? Believe what? You're scaring me!"

"When the Agung passes by, you're supposed to stand up straight! Not continue walking and glaring at the Agung!"

"I wasn't glaring, I was just looking at him impatiently."

"You shouldn't even have been at the side of the road! There must be nothing at the side of the road out of respect for the Agung! You had to hide! Even cats have to be removed!"

Now I really don't know how much of what my friend said was true. But now that I come to think of it, the sidewalk was unnaturally empty. Prior to this, it was full of people. But really, after hearing what my friend said, I was laughing about it the whole day.

Just imagine, the Agung passes by and I have to hide behind a tree. What the heck? LOL.

And then compare that to what actually happened, that was me half-glaring at the Agung's car.

Now after I have taken my bath and cooled down, I begin to process information more rationally, and I concluded that nothing my friend said could possibly be true. I mean, even cats have to be removed? Animal cruelty much. And then to think that, after going through the trouble of killing all the cats along the road, the Agung might actually be sleeping in the car and saw nothing of the outside world, what a waste.

Oh well. It's things like these that makes life interesting.

On a side note: I'm featured as blogger of the week on Digi Woww Awards! Cool huh! XD

FYI: I'm the witty 17 year old perakian!
FFYI: I'm actually 18 this year.
FFFYI: And I was actually born in Pahang.

But other than that, YAY!

Ranting about JB

2011-02-20T10:17:00.000-08:00

Hi there, just a short post. I haven't updated in quite a while, and I'm feeling kind of guilty because SPM is over, and I have so much free time on my hands I don't know what to do with it. And also, my internet is being annoying and refuses to let me sign in. Yahoo as well. Any explanations?

Looking at the title, and being a Malaysian, maybe the logical conclusion people would make is I'm ranting about Johor Bahru.

Well, I'm not.

Don't get me wrong, there are many things to rant on about Johor Bahru. It's so dirty. Mainly because we had to go there after coming back from the super clean Singapore. And really, the contrast is just so huge I guess the dirtiness in Johor got intensified.

That's not my point, and I will be moving on before I offend the Johorians. Johornites? Johorkians? Whatever.

So what does JB stand for? And yes, of course, if it isn't Johor Bahru, then it's Justine Babi.

Don't say I'm disrespectful! I capitalised his name!

Eek, I forgot, Babi is supposed to be a rude word in Malay. Alright then, we'll call him Khinzir, okay?

If you asked me why I hate Khinzir him so much, I probably couldn't answer you, because actually, I have no idea why myself. Why the sudden spontaneous repulsion to this particular human being?

That remains an unsolvable mystery. Another unsolvable mystery being why he has fans. Yupp. Chew on that, humans!

And now to top it all off, he has a freaking movie coming out. And I'm like, wuttt?

What has he achieved in life that could possibly stretch out into an entire movie? They'd probably show endless clips of him flipping his hair. Over and over. On loop. Really, he flips his hair so much we could use it as a feather duster.

And now I heard he's with Selena Gomez. I don't know if it's true, I don't know if it's been confirmed. I don't really care. It has been my great misfortune to accidentally stumble upon this piece of news. He so does not go well with Selena Gomez. It's weird and creepy.

Well, I can't deny Khinzir love either. So instead, I'm gonna be suggesting another singer for him to be with. And that singer, is none another than Willow Smith.

In case you don't know, Willow Smith sings the song 'Whip My Hair'. It's highly annoying yet gets stuck in your head for days. Yepp, it's one of those kinds of songs. Listen to it. Be warned though, you might go crazy for a couple of days.

Really, just listen to the first couple of lines and I would have made my point. You don't have to watch the rest of the video.It doesn't really teach you anything except that if you are running low on funds and you need to repaint your house, get a couple of drunk college kids, dunk their head in paint, and blast this song on maximum. That'll get the job done in no time.

All in all, I would say they make a pretty good match. She can sing 'Whip My Hair' while Khinzir...whips his hair. What a great couple. It'd be epic.

Back to the topic. Did we actually stray off the topic? Meh. Where were we anyway? Hmm..let's see. I hate Khinzir, Khinzir got a movie, hair whipping. Oh yes, the movie. Want to know the best part about the movie? Get this, it's in 3D! Yay!

So instead seeing him flip his hair harmlessly on TV like we normally do, this time he's gonna be flipping it all over your face. Like a feather duster just...brushing. Well two can play at this game! I'll gel my hair into spikes, and when he tries feather dusting me, I'll spike him right back in the face!

Seriously. If people couldn't stand him flipping his hair in 2D, what makes the producers think people would want to see him flipping his hair in 3D? This really wasn't well though out at all.

And there's one part in the movie trailer where Khinzir yells out:

NEVER! SAY! NEVERRRRRRR!

And then I'm assuming that his girl fans will go all crazy and start screaming like dying cats. I've never actually watched the trailer, I couldn't bring myself to watch it. But my friend Ju Lynn told me about this part and I'm like, Eww! If I were watching it in the movies I would have puked. Like seriously. There'd be serious 3D vomit flying all over the place.

To his fans, I'm sorry, I truly am. But there IS one good thing I can say about him.

No, it's not his voice. Once, someone heard his song on the radio, and that person was like, 'Yerr, who's this girl? She can't sing at all!' Haha that was funny.

No, it's not his looks. I don't really care for the feminine type. He confuses me with his she-male looks. On the bright side though, I bet he could make a good living in Thailand. I've heard the men there are even prettier than women.

No, it's not his hair. OH GOOD GOD NO.

The only thing I like about him is the song 'Pray'.

I close my eyes!!! HAHA!!!

I've got nothing else to say. That's the best I can squeeze out of my compliment.

THE END

Goodbye Tiger. Rawr!

2010-12-31T10:19:00.000-08:00

Rawr means see you soon in Tiger.

Well I don't actually know what it means. But that's the only thing I ever hear tigers say, so I guess it means a couple of hundred other things. Including see you soon. No one really knows. Unless you're some sub species of tiger.

??

Ah well. 2010 has ended. And I know many people will sum up their 365 days in a single post. Well I can't do that.

Firstly because my life is too colourful. HA!

Secondly because I don't have that good a memory. Which makes me skeptical as to how Ted from How I Met Your Mother can remember every single person he met since college. In fact if you asked me what I had for lunch, I honestly couldn't tell you. I doubt you can too. Haha.

What did YOU have for lunch?

Oh you remembered? Fine.

What did you have for BREAKFAST? Ha!

And so we say goodbye to the year of the Tiger. Which happens to be my favourite animal from the zodiac. No wait, I forgot about the horses.

Rephrase: Tigers AND the horses.

But since it's the year of the Tiger, let's just stick to the awesome-ness of Tigers. And why not? Tigers are awesome. Or maybe the rest of the other animals are just lame. No offense to the non-Tigers.

I'm not a Tiger myself. I happen to be a Chicken. Just look at the difference. Tigers and Chickens. Chickens are SO way down the food chain that I don't even know how to connect the two. Just for the heck of it, I'll give it a go.

The above food chain is based on the theory that Tigers eat humans. Tigers do eat humans don't they? Anyway I'm sure I can proof Colonel Sanders died from a tiger attack somewhere.

And I heard that some people eat Tigers penises. Which is ridiculous by the way. It's cruel and inhumane and despicable and some other bombastic sounding word meaning BAD. What do they eat it for anyway? To grow another penis? What's the use of that?

Meh. At least we chickens taste better. We be finger licking good mon! Can't imagine someone, anyone, licking their fingers after having some Tiger penis. Yuck.

Ok enough of the P word. Let's talk about the history of Tigers. I'll give you a brief history about them.

Tigers were around since the beginning of time in the form of rocks.

They eventually evolved into various forms of algae, which would form the various species of tigers as we know of today.

The algae-tigers soon grew bored of swimming in ponds all day long and decided to go on land. They held it to a vote, and the general population agreed. They grew legs within a week and were soon roaming the earth.

Unfortunately for them, dinosaurs soon started dropping out of the sky. The dinos were a violent species, and were swallowing the algae-Tigers left and right. The population was dwindling.

The alpha algae-tiger decided it was time to evolve before the whole species got extinct. Being the ever obedient society, they did. And that was how tigers came to be. Since Tigers are so awesome, I just had to sprinkle them with magical dust. Awesome dust if you will.

From that day on, the Tigers no longer feared the dinosaurs. In fact, they ate the dinosaurs. And that's how the dinosaurs got extinct. Since then, the Tiger population flourished and were never in danger of being extinct again.

Guinness Book of World Records 2011 declared that Tigers are in the least danger of being extinct and are one of the most abundant species in the world.

(This is what happens when one is lazy to move one's hand over to the mouse and google the word Tiger.)

On a side note, I have no idea why I drew the tiger with only 3 legs. And no ears.

Anyway, it's the year of the Rabbit now. No use reminiscing about Tigers anymore. Shoo, Tigers. Come back in 12 years.

And I have absolutely no comments about Rabbits. They don't really play a big role in anything. I know there's Rabbit Satay, but eww! And hey, we chickens RULE at satay! Boo-Yah! We are so rocking the food world!

Before bidding 2010 goodbye, let me try to think hard and grab at some random flashes of memory.

Ooh. Guess what! I remembered what I had for lunch!

Ah wait, no. That was dinner.

Hmm. Well, one thing I'll never forget are my friends. (Unless I become a celebrity that is. Or maybe if I get amnesia. Or Alzheimer's.)

Haha. You'll never know. Ah I have awesome friends. We were fated to meet. Never again will I find another bunch of jungle people such as these. And even though I got hurt by some of them during the year, for reasons still VERY unclear to me, at least I learnt how not to bear grudges. Bittersweet thing I guess. We're cool now though. It's all cool.

And the best thing was I made so many new friends. Especially the ones sitting around me. You know who you are.

Also, I had an accident and didn't die. Thank Heavens! Some one up there is taking gooooood care of me.

What else? Oh. SPM is over of course. No more Sejarah FOREVER. Yes, it's been a good year. =D

And what would a new year be without a new year's resolution?

New Year's Resolution:

Stop writing 2010 as the current date.
Blog something positive about the Rabbit.
Google Tiger.
Draw a 4 legged Tiger.
With ears.

Yeah that's all I can think of for now. I'm so sleepy and my eyeballs are drying up. I may have been sleep-blogging for all I know.

Before I go, I wanna officially welcome Rabbit version 2011. Boink! We should all follow the rabbit's good example of eating carrots. It's healthy and good for your heart..and..stuff.

Update of NYR:

Stop writing 2010 as the current date.
Blog something positive about the Rabbit.
Google Tiger.
Draw a 4 legged Tiger.
With ears.
Buy carrots.

Ok this is definitely me sleep-blogging.

Goodnight and Happy New Year!

The Impossible

2010-09-24T22:34:00.000-07:00

I never thought the day would come. The day where I would voluntarily get into a dress.

It was for Interact Installation. Anyway, my friend made a good point. She said if I didn't go, I would be the only one who has never attended a formal event. Which kinda sucks. I so don't want to be left out. It's not cool.

Maybe years later, my friends would be all,

'Hey, remember the time we were in formal wear?'

And the others would be like,

'Oh, yeah, yeah! That was fun!'

And I would be like,

'No...' =(

So came the impulsive decision. The first step was to tell my mum. Which I thought would be kinda tricky. I'm like unofficially grounded or something. Mana tau...in the end she so happy sampai drag me all over Taiping to find the dress. What a waste of time fretting about it. I guess she was just glad that I finally wore a dress.

I know this because she said,

'Finally, you wear a dress.'

And my dad too. Though he didn't really know what was up. He just saw my status on facebook and over-hyped himself. I should really use this to my advantage. I see a car in the near future. Heh Heh.

(Click here to see the drama queen in action.)

So my mum took me to go dress hunting. I was cringing internally through the whole process. Even now, every time I time I type the word 'dress', I shiver. Seriously. Look.

Dress.

*shivers*

See?

Since I have virtually zero experience in this, I had no choice but to have faith in my mum's taste. Yes, that's how inexperienced I am. The event was at night and I was buying the dress *shivers* in the afternoon. The only other person I had contact with on such short notice was my younger brother. It would be highly illogical to ask him instead of my mum. Highly, highly, illogical.

So basically, my mum dragged me to all these shops or boutiques and picked out dresses for me. I just stood at the corner waiting, intimidated by all the clothes. Then, my mum would throw a pile of dresses at me and told me to go try them on.

This is the part that made me blurr. BLURR.

So I went into the fitting room, (DUH). Changing outside for the world to see would be so degrading...and in Malaysia, possibly illegal. But the fitting rooms aren't that great either. They basically just consist of 3 very unstable wall-like things and a flimsy curtain. I have never felt more insecure.
What if a huge gust of wind suddenly blew the curtains apart?

Damn the tiny boutiques.

So next I look at the pile of clothes. I don't know which one to try on first. This is such a bad idea. I sigh and get on with it anyway. I closed my eyes and pulled one out at random.

And I pulled out a purple dress.

And I thought to myself, 'Right. I'll just put this on and get it over with.'

And then I realised...I didn't know how to put in on. Lame, I know! But these things are actually very complicated! I was searching everywhere for zippers and buttons...in vain I must add. There were none. Zero. Nil. Zilch.

Without the very vital zippers/buttons, how was I supposed to put the damn thing on?! See...this is what happens when all you wear all T-shirts and jeans.

In the end, I concluded that the only way to put it on was to pull it over my head. I simply could not find any other alternate way of wearing it. So I pulled it on...and I couldn't go any further. I only got my neck through.

So, slowly, I tried putting the right arm through first. That failed. Then I tried with my left arm, which failed too. Then I tried it with both arms simultaneously. I don't know why I did that. If I couldn't get ONE arm through, what makes me think that I can get BOTH arms through?

I must have been in there for at least 5 minutes trying to put in on. In the end, I managed to force my way into it. Thank God.

It was then that I saw myself in the mirror. IT WAS HORRIFYING! I looked like a freaking transsexual. Well, maybe not to the untrained eye, but I don't remember ever seeing myself wearing a dress and suddenly...formal wear? Whoa! Baby steps!

Then my mum impatiently said,

'Quickly come out and let me see how you look.'

'Uhh...I'd rather not. I look weird. I'l just try on the next one.'

'What! Let me see first lah!'

And then she yanked open the curtain. And then she laughed. Erghhh.

'I told you I looked weird!'

Insulted, I pulled back the curtains with more force than necessary. This is so SO out of my comfort zone. Outside, I heard my mum telling me to try on the next one. And then I groaned. Oh God...I forgot there were more.

And this is where the weird part comes in. Taking it off was actually ten times harder than putting it on.

I pulled and I yanked and I squirmed and I squeezed but to no avail. It just refused to come off. At the same time, I was afraid the dress would be ripped apart from the force or something. But in the end, I decided to just pull it off with one swift motion. If it refused to come off, I'll just continue pulling it until it does. That was my strategy.

Poorly planned, terribly executed.

The motion of pulling was what nobody would ever relate to as 'swift'. It was more towards 'klutzy'. And the time when I said I was going to continue pulling until it came off? Yeah, I petty much stopped that when I heard a noise which sounded alarmingly ripp-y-ish.

In the end, I got stuck with one arm out around my head, permanently fixated at that angle. The other was still inside squashed awkwardly, bent like a chicken wing. It looked so much like a chicken wing that it made me want to cry. Why was I looking like a crippled chicken? I was supposed to be miraculously awesome-looking. No...I wanted the opposite of this. =(

Moving on, because of the arm that stuck out, there wasn't much place left for my neck. The result, it got bent at this weird, painful angle. Perpendicularly 90 degrees to my arm. Ouch. I looked like a yoga master...a yogi if you will.

So all in all, yes people. I got stuck.

After accepting the fact that I couldn't move even ONE more centimeter, I decided the only thing left to do was to call for help. Which was so embarrassing. I'm freaking 17 years old and I can't take off a dress. Well, Kudos to me. Trying not to let the sales girl hear (humiliating much), I whispered to my mum telling her I couldn't take it off.

And my mum was so clueless! I was like,

'Mummy...mummy..!'

'What?'

'I have a problem...'

'Huh? I can't hear you. What did you say again?'

'I can't take it off...'

'You what?

'Shhh! Not so loud! I said..I can't...take it...off!'

'Eh? Wear finish already is it? Then come out and let me see!'

And then she freaking pulls open the curtain.

I gasped. I was like, half-naked trying to take off the damn thing. My semi-nakedness was opened for the world to see. And the fitting room was so small, there were only so many places to hide. I was fervently trying to hop out of view. Yes, hop. Remember, my pose at that time wasn't optimum for escaping.

Boy was I mad.

'Whey! Close the curtain!'

'I thought you said you finished changing already.'

'NOOO. I said I couldn't take it off! How does that even remotely sound like:

I'm done and not semi-naked! You may now open the curtains and reveal my fully-clothed body for the world to see?!'

'How would I know what you were mumbling about? And why are you taking so long?'

'I'm stuck.'

'Stuck? How did you manage to do that?'

'I don't know okay. Will you please help me take it off now?'

'You didn't unzip or unbutton is it?'

'NO. I searched through the whole dress. There ARE no zips or buttons.'

And so with our combined efforts, we pulled and yanked and squirmed and squeezed again. It took so long, even my mum was starting to get worried. The time taken definitely passed the five-minute mark. And finally, just when we were both at our wits end, the dress came off. PHEW.

I chased my mum out and gratefully put my own clothes back on. Ahh. The comfort of T-shirts and jeans. I decided not to try any more dresses there. Partly because I was traumatized, but mostly I was so embarrassed. The whole shop heard the whole commotion. Just as I was about to come out, I noticed something on the dress.

It was a zip.

I could not believe my eyes. How did I miss that?! Upon further investigation,I realized it was one of those hidden zippers that cannot be seen from the outside. Now who would go and invent something stupid like that?! Stupid advanced zipper technology.

Designers these days. Now if I were a designer, my designs would be chic, simple, sexy, yet elegant at the same time. Something that designers all over the world have failed to produce in recent years. I would be rich and famous with the likes of Beyonce ordering a gown months in advance and burn money for fun. Oh, and it would have millions of zippers all over the place.

Examples of gowns I would design:

The Deep 'V'.
Specialty: The deep 'V' cuts all the way down across your stomach and ends just an inch above your...you now where. So ladies, be sure to clean your belly button before wearing this beauty.

The Deep 'U'
Specialty: For the more daring ones who think that the deep 'V' is way too conservative, then the deep 'U' is the right dress for you! This dress boasts a plunging neckline...very plunging indeed. The best thing about this dress? No need for belly-button cleaning!

Infiniti.

More to come..the deep 'O's', the deep 'W's'...and many more dresses will be added to this exciting collection!

Well, there is an ending to the story. I got sidetracked. Finally at the seventh shop, my mum found a dress that didn't make me look like a gorilla. And the shoes! She kept insisting that I wear heels! I told her the dress was my limit and I couldn't take in anymore. It was too overwhelming. But my mum kept on saying that if I didn't wear heels, then I wouldn't look nice in the dress. And I said something along the lines of yeah right. Everyone looks at my shoes.

Fast forward a few hours later, and I'm getting ready for this thing. I really had no patience for this dress thing, and I stood in front of the mirror looking at myself impatiently. I had my hands on my hips and all that. My mum walked by and she gasped when she saw me.

'That is so unlady-like!'

And then she spent the next 30 minutes teaching me how to walk properly. LAME!

I'll continue this another day...possibly after SPM. I'm too damn lazy. Haha. Goodbye people!

Rat

2010-09-07T18:29:00.000-07:00

I'm angry right now! Or sad. Or desperate. I don't know ok?!

Before you think that I'm going through a break up or something, please know that I'm talking about a rat. Yes, a rat. And no, I'm not dating this rat. It's just a rat that suddenly appeared in our house a month ago. And it just pops in and out as it pleases.

My mum is like, freaking terrified of rats. Like, seriously. She'll just scream and scream and scream when she sees a rat. Any rat, anywhere. Even at hawker centres, when a rat runs by like ten tables away, she'll start screaming. And then I'll look away and pretend I don't know what's happening.

Yes, it's the real deal my mum's fear of rats. Apparently, the fear of rats is known as Musophobia. Nice word, no? It suits the fear.

So anyway, my mum went on and on and on about this rat. Every single day since the rat appeared she has to talk about it at least once.

Everyday she'd be like, 'Yorr, girl ah, what to do?'

Then I'll be like, 'What? Catch it lah. I say so many times already.'

And she'll be like, 'I dare not catch it! I dare not take away the cage!'

And then I'll be like, 'I take lah. I said SO many times already.'

And she'll be all, 'Really? You say one har?'

And I'll be like, 'YES. I said SO MANY TIMES ALREADY!!!'

And then she'll say, 'Aiyah, don't want lah, don't want lah. So disgusting.'

And then I'll be all, 'Suak. After the rat reproduce and give birth to a million baby rats don't come and find me.'

And she'll be like, 'Yerr..girl ah! Why you like that one!'

But the next day, when she finds out the rat ate her potato/bread/banana or whatever, the whole conversation would be repeated all over again.

And I have no idea why people can be so afraid of rats. Like my mum, she's not afraid of cats but she's afraid of rats. I mean, why? If you're afraid of animals in general then I understand. But this is just so weird.

If you think about it, cats are actually bigger than rats. And cats don't run when they see you. In fact, they come closer if they think there's a chance for free food.

Rats on the other hand, run even when they hear a remotely human-like sounding activity. And they take your food quietly in the middle of the night. It doesn't kacau you at all.

Yes, yes. I know rats are dirty. They carry diseases and stuff. They bite through your electricity cables. And they bite through your rubbish bag. And they steal your food. And cats clean themselves. And they don't carry diseases. And at least they don't steal food, they beg for food. And they kill rats.

Anyway, my mum finally gave in one day. She bought a rat trap...and rat poison to go with it. I've never seen rat poison before. I thought rat poison was a liquid or soultion. And then you put it on the food that the rat is supposed to eat. But it's not like that at all!

It's a little pink roundish thing, and the rat is supposed to eat it. After eating it, the rat is supposed to feel like, super thirsty or something and go drink water. When it drinks the water, the water is supposed to have a chemical reaction of some sort with the rat poison, and the rat dies.

You know what the weird thing is? My mum does not even dare to touch the rat trap. Sweat, right? I had to put that smelly dried sotong on the hook of the cage.

Something like that. When it bites the sotong, which is hooked on to a wire, the spring will be activated and the door will close.

My mum went on full offence. She set the trap and put rat poison everywhere.

The first few nights the rat didn't bite the bait. My mum started thinking that maybe my neighbour's crazy theory was true. This 'theory', so called, is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Look at it.

Crazy theory: Rats understand human language and therefore knows of your plan to catch it. Hence, it does not fall for traps.

Chinese superstitions are weirddddd.

Anyway, this morning on the 4th day of Operation: Rat Trap, I was rudely awaken by my mum yelling,

'Girl! Girl! The rat! The rat! It's in the trap! It's just sitting there! Faster come and take it awayyyyy!'

I rolled out of bed and went to the trap. Oh and poor rat. It was trying so hard to escape! Biting the walls, sniffing everywhere. It didn't even finish the sotong. It was too scared to eat maybe?

So I went and pick it up. And he/she/it was so pitiful. It looked at me with those eyes.

And that's when something occured to me. I asked my mum,

'What are you going to do with the rat?'

'Kill it, of course!!'

'How?'

'By pouring hot water on it.'

'WHAT?! NO! That's so cruel!!'

'Got what other ways? It's better than leaving it under the sun to be scorched to death.'

'Don't like that lah! It's so inhumane! It didn't even do anything wrong!'

'What? It ate our food!'

'Of course lah, it eats to survive ma! Not its fault!'

'Then what do you suggest we do to it?'

'Take it to a dumpster far away or something?'

'No! It will run back to our house!'

'Oh yeah. Right. I leave it in a dumpster full of food and the first thing it thinks of is to run right back to our house. Even Chihuahua's aren't that stupid'

'And how are we supposed to take it to this 'far away dumpster'? Put in in MY car? NO!'

'Then at least poison it or something lah. Don't use hot water. That's just so wrong. I caught the rat! I get to decide how it dies!'

'Fine. Take it outside. If within one day it doesn't die, I'm using the hot water.'

So I took it outside. Poor rat. I popped in a few of those rat poison things. After half an hour, I went out to check if it ate the poison. It didn't touch any of them! It was still trying to escape. Poor thing. I'm beginning to worry for the rat.

I had no other choice. I gave crazy neighbour's theory a chance and I talked to the rat.

'Uhm hello? Hi there, rat. Listen, you have to eat these pretty pink things. It's good for you. You'd die peacefully like that. It's better than dying by hot water. I've heard that's quiet painful. Don't believe me? Ask your dead ancestors.'

'Don't kill me! I have 40 children to feed! I won't ever come to your house again, please! Is there no other method that does not end in my death?'

'I am sorry, rat.'

No, the rat did not actually reply me. But I think that was what it was saying. I hope it understood what I said. I'm doubtful though. Just to be on the safe side, I googled:

HOW TO KILL A RAT HUMANELY

This was what I found.

Cervical dislocation: Place the rat on its belly. Get a slim object to put pressure on the rats neck. Hold it by the tail, and pull back. You should here a ripping/breaking noise.

(What the hell? This is not humane AT ALL!)

Projectile: Shoot the rat. (Ideally with a bb gun.) However there will be blood. So clean well.

(Ewwww!)

Asphyxiation: Get an airtight plastic container. Get a small cup with baking soda and vinegar. Place the rat in the container. Pour the baking soda and vinegar into the cup and put that in the container. Close the lid. The rat should eventually pass out and painlessly die. this is the single most humane way to kill the rat.

(This actually seems okay. I hope we have vinegar and baking soda in the house!)

I really wish there was some other way that involves not killing the rat. But it seems like there aren't. So say goodbye to your friends and family, rat. =(

Any ideas?!

TomYam YeeMee

2010-09-07T03:04:00.000-07:00

Recently, there was some new type of food at our canteen. It's called Tom Yam Yee Mee. Maybe it's been there all the while, I have no idea, but that day was the first time I ate it. I don't recall seeing anybody else eating it though. I would remember.

I have this weird habit of looking at other people's food in the canteen. Not just canteen lah, anywhere. Hawker centre, restaurant, McD's, you name it. I like checking out people's food. Quite often I'll get into this awkward situation where the person catches me looking at his food. Then I'll pretend to look away. When the person continues eating, I'll look again, because I didn't get a good look before.

So anyway, Pei Ting and MooMoo were going to the canteen to order that TomYam YeeMee thing. They asked,

'Eh, you want anot? TomYam YeeMee. Now we are going to order.'

'What's that? Why never hear before one? Nice anot?'

'Oh, nice! But it's very spicy one. Can you take it?'

And then Christine who was just beside me said,

'Oh spicy arh? She cannot one.'

'What what? Who say I cannot! I can! I can! I CAN!'

'Okay, Fine! Fine! Order, ORDER! Eeesh!'

Which is actually kind of true. I really can't take spicy food.

During recess, I promised myself I was not going to drink a single drop of water. I promised myself, I would battle through the spicy-ness...and come out alive! Anyway, how hot could it be? Bring it on!

We found a place to sit down, and then we started eating. The first few bites were okay. But see, that is what TomYam does to you. It lures you into a false sense of confidence. It makes sure that the food is all over your tongue. And just when you thought that, hey...it's actually not that spicy, that's when it strikes. BAM! And your whole tongue is on FAI-YAH!

The pain started around the sixth spoonful.

I looked around at my friends, they were all chatting happily away, laughing even. And all of them, I am sure, had already surpassed their sixth spoonful. I couldn't stop...yet. I needed to protect my dignity.

I continued eating in silence. The spicy-ness took away my ability to talk. A while later, my friends noticed something was off.

'Hmm..something's not right.'

'Yeah...I feel it too. What is it I wonder?'

'Oh! I know! What happened to April's voice?'

Then they all turned to look at me. I tried to hide my face. It was not a pretty sight.

My mouth was wide opened with my tongue stuck out, trying to reduce the spicy-ness. I was producing alot of saliva to cool down my tongue. I'm a saliva producing factory when I eat hot stuff. Also, I was sweating. The sweat dripped all the way down my face. Down, down, down. To make matters worse, my nose started running. The snot flowed down from my nose like a freaky waterfall. It flowed all the way down to my mouth and mixed with the saliva. And then the sweat flowed down too and mixed with the snot AND saliva. So I had saliva+snot+sweat. The 3 S's.

My eyes were wide opened. And my chopsticks were hanging limply in my hands. I did not have the strength to hold it up. And to make things even more disgusting, I think I saw the 3S solution drip down into my bowl. I seriously hope I was wrong.

And my friends were like, Whoa! Are you okay?

And being the good friends they are, they went off to get water for me. But that didn't exactly help. The only difference was this:

Anyway, I battled through. I was determined to finish it up. I was actually crying and eating at the same time.

I was all

'Sobs...so hot...I don't want to eat already...'

But anyway, I finished it. Boy, was I proud of myself. What a beautiful moment! But by then, the prefects were all hovering around me. I was supposed to be in class 10 minutes ago. They were killing my buzz.

On the way back to class, I interviewed Christine. She was the only one who didn't find the TomYam spicy. The rest found it a bit spicy. I found it @#%$&* spicy. So I asked her,

'Hey, I'm wondering how you Chilli people can stand the hot-ness?'

'Eat only lah'

'No lah. I mean do you find it hot but you can still take it, or do you not find it hot at all?'

'Uhm...I don't find it hot at all.'

'Wow...and how do you do that? Could you do that all this while or do you need to train?'

'It's natural...I started eating Chili Padi since I was three.'

'WHAT?!?! You're joking, RIGHT?'

'I'm serious. My mum told me.'

'Oh My-----You're such a freak! Oh I cannot believe this. Age of three, seriously? Seriously?!'

'Yes, and now stop shouting in my ear! What's wrong with you?!'

Unbelievable! At least now I can take a bit of Chilli and the occasional sambal. When I was small, I could not even take in a bit. So Christine is really the Chilli goddess. (How do you spell Chilli anyways? Why are there squiggly red lines underneath all my chillis?)

When I was younger, yonks ago, my family would get me to try all these chilli-filled stuff, but I'd always end up drinking more water than eating food. My stomach would be so full of water that most of the time, I only ate like one-tenth of the food.

So they made up this hot-ness scale. Something like the peri-o-meter scale at Nando's.

If you've never eaten at Nando's before (why would you not?!), whenever you order a chicken, you get to choose how spicy it is. See? Lemon & Herb is the least spicy. Followed by Mild Peri-Peri, Hot Peri-Peri and Extra Hot Peri-Peri. And then when your chicken came, it has a little flag stuck on it.

see the flag?

Once, being over ambitious, I decided to step out of my Lemon & Herb comfort zone to try out Mild Peri-Peri. Halfway through the chicken, I was sniffing and tears were rolling down my eyes and snot was running down my nose. It was horrible. I even finished everybody's drinks. My friends with their stupid Extra Hot Peri-Peris were looking at me pitifully.

They were like, 'You should have gone with the Lemon and Herb dude.'

And I was like, 'I don't need your pity! I can finish this on my own! NO, I DO NOT NEED ANYMORE WATER, thank you very much!

(5seconds later)

Waiter! One more ice-lemon tea! NOWWWW!!'

After that, I went back to Lemon and Herb and swore never to try anything like that again. Since then, whenever I went to Nando's, I was a lone Lemon and Herb among the sea of Extra Hot Peri-Peris.

yeah yeah, whatever.

My parent's hot-ness scale was not quite so creative. It just contained numbers ranging from 1 to 10. And then they would be like

'Here, try this. It's only a 2.'

(chomp)

(chew)

(pause)

'Aah! Hot! Hot! It's not a 2! It's a 10!!!'

What an inaccurate scale that was. If my 10 was only their 2, then their 10 would be my 100. There should be a scale with pictures. Something like this that I got off another blog! Such an awesome blog! http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com poeple should really check this out.

1. This food is Chilli-free. I shouldn't be on the scale at all!

2. I am completely unsure if this is spicy or over-salty. Maybe I'm just looking for chopsticks.

3. Oh wow. Okay. It's spreading all over my tongue.

4. Whoa, this is spicy. I thought I ordered no chilli in my food! Water!

5. Why was Chilli ever invented?!

6. Ow. Okay, HOT HOT HOT!! hee-hah! hee-hah!

7. Why would anyone ever torture themselves like this?!

8. OMG. I'm dying. Goodbye friends. Goodbye family.

9. Stand back. Chilli is about to explode out of my face at any moment!

TOO HOT FOR NUMBERS: I see Jesus coming for me!

So I guess I'll spend the rest of my life forever being Pwned by Chilli. =(

THE END

PS: I added a dictionary by the side. I'm all for improving people's English. Haha.
PSS: I took it down. It was so ugly.

A normal day in my life

2010-09-01T23:36:00.000-07:00

I'm just going to type whatever I feel like typing today. I'm bored. Contrary to popular believe, weird things don't happen to me everyday. I have nothing better to do anyway. My mum told me to study and I was like, HELLLL NO. Well, Here I go.

So my mum dragged me out of bed at 6.15 am today.

My mum was all 'Wake up!'

And I was all 'Uhh..Mmhm...'

And my mum was like 'Quickly, you're late! It's 7 already!'

I don't know why I fall for this every time. She has been using it for the past few days. Maybe I'm still not fully functioning in the morning. Ah well, It works anyway.

I jumped out of bed. Not jumped. Rolled, maybe. Then I went to brush my teeth but the Colgate was almost finishing. Being the ever lazy me, I was reluctant to walk the 3 steps to the drawer outside to grab a new tube. Instead, I decided to squeeze and force the toothpaste out, injuring my hand in the process.

In the end, I only managed to squeeze out a little toothpaste. Like, 1/10 of my normal amount. I looked at it and I was like, Meh. Better than nothing. So I proceeded to brush my teeth. 5seconds later, the toothpaste was all gone. I was brushing my teeth with a toothbrush without toothpaste. And it actually hurts.

Halfway through, I was bleeding all over my mouth. And I was STILL to lazy to get new toothpaste. There is something very wrong with me.

.Keep bleeding...keep keep bleeding...

After valiantly swallowing all my blood, I went to take my bath. You know, it's morning, it's cold. Of course you're gonna use hot water. Who doesn't? So like always, I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, expecting hot water to come out because that's what happens every morning. I assumed today would be no different. I mean, why would I doubt the heater? It has never betrayed me before.

But anyway, being the ever trusting me, I turned it on without checking. And then this HUGE jet of FREAKING ICY cold water exploded out from the shower. I swear, the water was especially huge and especially cold and especially wet (if that's possible). The heater was mocking me. And the water drenched my poor, vulnerable, heat-intolerant body from head to toe. After that, I was dancing sakai dance all over the bathroom for 5 minutes straight.

.I look like a spider. =D

Fast forward a few steps. I'm in the middle of buttoning my shirt when I notice that one button was missing. Where did it go? Guess I'll never know. Fast forward a little bit more, and I'm eating breakfast. I had Cheerios. In fact, I have been having Cheerios for the past few months. I'm on a major Cheerios binge, and I'm eating Cheerios like it's my job. Being the ever hungry me, I was sad to find out that my Cheerios supply was running low. Only 4 more boxes left in the cupboard. Hmm. I must remind my mum to stock up later.

I'm in school now. No, don't ask me how I got here and how I got here so fast. I'm too damn lazy to type out the journey. So just imagine I flew here or something. Anyway, today is the day before Hari Kemerdekaan, where 53 years ago, some now-alredy-dead-people went to London for a holiday, and then came back yelling Merdeka all over the place.

Nobody knows the exact reason for all that yelling. Maybe London had great alcohol....or awesome crack. I also seem to remember that they yelled 'Unity for all!'. And so that is how Hari Kemerdekaan came about, to remember the multi-racial drunk/high dudes who were yelling in the middle of the streets.

To pay homage to these people, our school held the lamest, most un-patriotic celebration ever. We were given a reusable Jalur Gemilang each. After ensuring that we all had flags in our hands, we were deemed patriotic enough to kick off this thing. We sang NegaraKu, like always. And then we sang our school song. Weirdddd.

And then came the worst part. We had to listen to these lame lame lame speeches written by some parliament dude. And it WAS NOT a speech. It was a NOVEL. And I don't think it was only ONE speech. I think there were THREE. I can't be sure...I wasn't listening. By the time the novels were over with, the sun was being all happy and shining all over the place.

But seriously, the sun was extra hot today. So I actually was thanking God for the cold shower just now. Maybe it was Independence day or whatever, the sun was just really really very...uhh...trying to prove its sun-liness.

. A side of the sun you never knew.

What else? Oh..we decided to climb Bukit Larut tomorrow, so good luck to us.

Random words of wisdom.

2010-08-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

You know, I'm 17. I have gathered much knowledge during that time. I have LOTS of interesting wisdom quotes, and I would like to share it with you. Unfortunately though, I don't jot them down. So yeah, I can't actually remember any of them. My bad. But don't worry, I won't disappoint you. I'll come up with one right now.

See how legit my advice is? Do you trust me now? Now my second advice to you is:

DO NOT EAT CHOCOALTE CHIPS OFF THE FLOOR

This is an important one! Do not eat chocolate chips off the floor. And I'm serious. I don't joke. In fact, I never joke. I know it's delicious and all, and you don't want it to go to waste, but seriously. To ground this piece of wisdom into you, I'm gonna repeat it again.

DO NOT eat chocolate chips...
or chocolate cookie crumbs...
or oreo crumbs...
or any other brownish/black looking thing off the floor.

I'll explain.

Say you're eating an especially awesome tasting Oreo. (Pfft..what am I saying? All Oreos are equally awesome.) Suddenly, the cookie drops and crumbs are all over the floor. Maybe it slipped from your hand, maybe a gust of wind came by and blew the cookie onto the floor, maybe you misjudged your biting strength and the oreo just flew away from the sheer force.

Well whatever the reason, crumbs are all over the place. It'd be such a mess to clean and you don't want to let the Oreos go to waste. What do you do? I'm thinking most of us would probably get down on the floor and start eating the crumbs, right?

I mean, the floor's clean. It's your own house dude.

So imagine yourself locating all the crumbs and picking up all the crumbs and eating all the crumbs. And you'd be like, 'Oh, there's another one...and another one...and another one...damn, how much did I drop?'

But here my friend, is where things can go horribly wrong. Look at what happens.

Yeah, I spell crumbzzzz with the z's. I'm just gangstah like that.

Following the cookie trail like a treasure hunt

end of trial?

Apparently not.

Continuing the trial.

See what I mean?

Now there are two groups of people in the world.

One group eats stuff that has fallen on the floor.

The other group says, 'Ewww, you eat stuff that has fallen on the floor?!'

Now, the first group can be further divided into sub-categories. One eats stuff that has fallen off the floor depending on where it has fallen. The other eats the stuff no matter where it lands. To this group, I salute you. Take a look at this chart to get a clearer picture.

Note: I'm sorry the picture couldn't go any larger. I was so bummed. It took me so long to do and then I just couldn't enlarge it. I tried scaling it and stuff but it just got all pixelated. Bummer. =(

So anyway, if you have superhuman eyesight, you can try looking at it. I have to warn you, it's lame.

Near Death Experience

2010-07-26T06:21:00.000-07:00

Ever since I was young, I liked to make people laugh. Psychiatrists say funny people compensate for their low self-esteem through humor. I don't but that. Can't confident people be funny? And never once has a depressed person made me laugh.

Not that I'm saying depressed people are boring or anything, it's just hard to laugh when someone tells you that their girlfriend broke up with them and their planning to hang themselves tonight. Now, do you laugh when you hear that? No, I don't think so. Awkward laugh maybe, but that doesn't count as a laugh.

So I guess my point is, you don't have to be depressed to be funny.

A few years back, I pretended I broke my arm in front of the whole class. Partly because it entertained me, partly because it entertained my friends, and mostly because I didn't want to write an essay. Chinese essay, of course. Figures.

So yeah. I'm lame to the point where I do stuff like that. Constantly.

Little did I know though, this would cause my almost death.

A few years ago, I was at a friend's birthday party. I was talking and stuff, when suddenly I choked on a piece of cake. I don't know how I could have possibly choke on the cake, because I remembered it being spongy.

And delicious..
And chocolate-y..
And oh so creamy..
And the texture was lighter then air.
Mmhhmmm~

Oh wait.

My point is, no one chokes on spongy things.

And it wasn't the kind of choke that made your food come out through your nose.

Im freeeee~

It wasn't the kind of choke that made you cough a couple of times followed by the food flying out of your mouth.

I'm freee tooooo~coming to join you brudder!

It wasn't even the kind of choke where you coughed so much, and so hard, your face turned red and everyone was looking at you.

I refuse to come out! heheee!

No. It wasn't any of those.

It was of the most dangerous, lethal, life-threatening, death-causing kind. Not joking. The cake somehow got lodge in my oesophagus and refused to move, blocking all oxygen entrance and any chance of survival. I was coughing and coughing and grabbing at my throat.

I could hear the oxygen molecules say:

'And now for the traffic update. There is a major congestion along the kilometer-52 Oesophagus highway believe to be caused by a large, spongy piece of cake, blocking all major exits. Sources say that this is the result of careless eating and the traffic should remain at a hold-still for at least a few more hours.'

But seriously, I really, really couldn't breathe. And I couldn't even shout for help because I couldn't even take in ONE breath of air. And my throat hurt so bad. I had never been more afraid in my whole life. I seriously thought I was going to die!

I tried looking at my friends to tell them of my impending death, but to my horror, they were all laughing at me. Like, LAUGHING.

And I was like,
No! NO! This is not a joke! I'm dying!

I realized the seriousness of the situation. Something must be done. Something. Anything!

Miraculously, I somehow managed to muster up all of my strength, use all my remaining oxygen, suck up the pain, and I managed to shout, Help Me!

When it comes to life preservation, your body does stuff that seems humanly impossible. The human body is just weird like that.

But anyway, the shout ended up sounding more like a squeak. Exactly like the Alvin and the chipmunk cartoon. Imagine them saying:
'Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeee~'

But at least I was saved. My friends knew I was dying. When after a few seconds, still no one came to my rescue, I looked up. And to my horror, they were laughing HARDER! And I was like, what the hell?

Well, as I said before, the human body is very good at life preservation. So somehow, a few painful minutes later, I managed to swallow the cake...all by myself...with no help...single-handedly.

By the time I had swallowed it, I was having cold sweats from my near-death encounter. My fingers were so tightly clutched around the edge of the table that my knuckles had turned white. My legs were trembling and wouldn't move when I told them to.

I was like, move legs!

And they were like, No!

This was exactly why the story of 'the-boy-who-cried-wolf' was made.

But if stunts like that get me out of doing essays, I'm so going to repeat it and not regret my actions.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is...

Be funny at your own risk.

The end.

National Service..tahniah my ass!

2010-07-21T00:17:00.000-07:00

Today was like any normal day..the crappy birds were singing their crappy songs and the crappy bees were buzzing everywhere. (There are many bees in my block)

Lamest comic ever I drew during double Chinese.

I walked into class innocently. People were talking, some were sleeping, some were doing homework, some were copying homework. I prepared to joined the last group when chin shern suddenly yelled at me.

'Oi, April! You kena!'

And I was like,
'Kena what? Cancer?'

And he was like,
'Huh? No..you kena NS!'

And I was like,
'Whaaaat??!! How you know?!! It's not possible!!!'

And he was like,
'It's true! I saw your name in Sin Chew Jit Po! (haha..equivalent to Chinese version of the Star I think?)

And I was like,
'Whaaat?! Where?! Let me See!'

And he was like,
'No lah, I didn't bring to school. I saw this morning before coming out. There was a list there, and your name was at the top, April Melody Tan Hui En.'

And I was all,
'NoOOOOOO!!!!'

After that, I pretty much went around complaining the crap out of everyone's ears. Next class, next block, next country. I was almost absolutely sure I told everybody I knew. Even some random strangers knew about it from standing too close to where I was complaining. I finally went back and sat down. Zi Yue sat down beside me. I realize I haven't told him about the 'news' yet. Guess I didn't get everybody.

So I was like,
'Eh Zi Yue arh..I kena NS.'

And he was like,
'How you know?

And I was like,
'Chin Shern told me.'

And he was like,
'Oh..that one is it? He bluff you one lah.'

And I was like,
'Huh? Are you sure? But he told me got! And then he say many people also got!'

And he was like,
'No lah...he bluff one...really.'

And I was all,
'I. AM. SO. GOING. TO. KILL. HIM.'

And he was all,
'Hey, but don't say I'm the one that told you okay!' (Oops. XD)

I immediately went about hunting for chin shern. Too bad I couldn't find him...maybe he heard my roar/war cry from next class and had the logic to hide.

war cry

Anyway, I had to re-inform everyone again. That's hard when you already told everyone you know. After about half an hour of that, I sat down again to a much needed rest. And this time a different guy was beside me.

And he was like,
'Oh man...I kena NS arh...'

Knowingly, I was like,
'Ahh..did Chin Shern tell you?'

And he was like,
'Huh? No. Send through SMS one. You can go check. Ask Chin Dong to send for you.'

And I was all,
'CHIN DOOOOOOOONG!!!'

And he was like,
'What?'

And I was all desperate and was like,
'Help me check! I. NEED. TO. KNOW.'

And he was all freaked out and was like
'Alright, alright. What's your IC?'

And I was like
'930415-06...(you don't think I was gonna tell you my IC were you? YOu might turn out to be some rapist or whatever.)'

And he was like,
'Okay. Done and...sent. You gotta wait awhile though. The last one took 20 minutes.'

And I was like,
'Why so long?'

And he was like,
'I don't know.'

30 minutes later

'Who's birthday is on october 22nd?'

And someone was like,
'Me!'

And he was like,
'Good..you didn't get. Hmm..who's birthday on February 25th?'

And a different someone else was like,
'Me!'

And he was like,
'Aah..you didn't get also. Let's see...oh my gosh! Who's birthday April 15th!'

And I was like,
'Me?'

And he was like,
'Congratulations dude.'

And I was like,
'No. You are lying to me. I am not believing you. I won't fall for this again.'

And he was like,
'Hahah. Fine then if you don't believe me.'

And I was all,
'Give me the phone!'

And the phone was like,
Tahniah! 930415-06-CUTE telah dipilih untuk menyertai PLKN Siri 8/2011

And I was all,
'NOOOOOO!!This is not happening.'

And he was like,
'Hahah..first girl in our class. Congratulations!'

First of all, I demand the government change the message. It should read something like,

Seribu maaf. 930321-08-UGLY dengan malangnya telah dipilih untuk menyertai PLKN.

Tahniah! 930321-08-UGLY telah...dibubarkan (?)

I couldn't accept the fact that I got that message, so I imagined what the message MEANT to type was 'Narnia', and not 'Tahniah'. Something like this:

NARNIA! NOW SHOWING IN CINEMAS!

Sadly, no one believes in my theory. So I had to re-re-inform everybody. And actually, I don't really know if I'm happy or sad. If I really hated NS, I would be so down right? But nope, I'm all hyper and jumping around telling everybody.

To be happy or not to be happy?

AN ASSSS

NS is kinda cool I guess? You have to wear those uniforms though. Looks itchy and hot. On the bright side, it makes you look like Avatar!

avatar

Of Dresses and Heels

2010-07-11T03:03:00.000-07:00

I have a crisis people! There are lots of farewell parties going on lately. I actually have to attend 4, and 2 of it requires formal wear. Gasp! Dresses!

Obviously, I'm more of a T-shirt and jeans kinda person. And I used to be a tomboy growing up. Maybe I still am...I dunno. What I DO know is that I STILL don't like wearing:

dresses...
or skirts...
or 'blouses'...
or 'tops'...

And I STILL can't stand

puffs...
and lace...
and frills...
and ruffles.

So does that make me Tomboy still? No idea. This is an area best left unexplored. But what I do know is I've improved from the last time. When I was little, (little meaning 12 or so), my mum tried to get me out of my Tomboy ways. For some reason, she decided the best way to do so was to force me into skirts of various kinds.

One fateful dinner night, my mum brought in a skirt and said,

There, you will wear this for dinner.

I looked at it,

NO.

And my mum said,

What do you mean 'NO'? You will wear WHAT I tell you to wear, WHEN I tell you to wear, WHERE I tell you to wear it to, WHO sees what you wear, and HOW you will wear it!

.yuck..skirt.

Obviously, she was expecting a hard time and had prepared a speech beforehand. But it was a freaking skirt for goodness sake. Generally, skirts and me don't go well together. And I made MY speech next.

NO.

I am quite the debater.

YES, you will. You WILL wear this skirt, you WILL wear it today, you WILL wear it to this dinner, all the aunties and uncles WILL realize that you are a girl, and you WILL wear it with this pink shirt!

Pink?! By the way, I STILL don't like Pink. Long story short, after alot of shouting and yelling and crying (out of anger!), I put on the damn thing and we went to that dinner thing 30minutes late. Imagine you are one of the aunties uncles sitting there, looking forward to a pleasant evening, and suddenly you see this:

Meh, the way I see it, it wasn't my fault at all. My mum should have just let me worn whatever the hell I wanted to wear.

Oh, back to the point! I need to wear formal for these farewells. The earliest being realllly soon. So really, I don't have time to go shopping for 'the right dress'...whatever that is. Anyway, it'd be irrasional to buy a dress that I'm only ever going to wear once. Or twice if I go to both farewells. Haha. So that leaves me with borrowing from somebody.

Which is a problem in itself. Most of the conversations go like this.

Me: Hey, do you have any formal dresses?

Person: Sure, why?

Me: Yeah, I need to go to this farewell thing, and I have to wear a dress.

Person: Whoaaaaa! April wearing a dress! Hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahha!

Me: Hey, I'm insulted here. What's wrong with me wearing a dress?

Person: I..hahah..need to....hahahahaha..see this! Hahahahha!

Me: Hey hey...it's not that weird okay! What do you think I'm going to wear to my wedding? A tux?

Person: Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! April getting married!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Which is my cue to walk away insulted. But actually, I'm not. Heck, I can't even picture MYSELF in a dress and heels.

The second problem is, most people who owns dresses are skinny. They have the confidence to strut their stuff in that uncomfortable thing and make it look as if they have been wearing that since the day they were born. So, these people are mostly anorexic. And well...I'm not. I just can't fit into their size 23's! *looks down sadly at my 29* (This is really something I shouldn't be revealing as public information.)

People! If you have any suggestions or any solutions to my problem, or if you just wanna comfort this poor obese person, please! Leave me a comment or something! I NEED HELP!

#Updated:
I can't go now because I'm so grounded. Because some teacher complained bout me during hari ibu bapa. This spot used to be me ranting about that teacher. I just deleted it a second ago. I have changed my ways. I realized it's wrong even though it's totally their fault.

YeeYing and Maegan inspired me. Haha. Read bout it here and here.

THE END

How I successfully ruin my diet every time

2010-07-05T07:16:00.000-07:00

I love food. Sigh. If only I could eat 10 meals a day and not gain a kilo. That would be a freaking dream come true. So what do I do? Like all fat people, I lie to myself by saying I'm going on a diet.

I really envy people like Maegan who don't eat at all!

Joking Maegan. I have seen you eating before..

...once.

Again, I'm joking.

Lately though, I've noticed a recurring pattern on how my diet fails. It goes like this:

Pattern of failure of Diet.

1) I am unaware of any desire for food.
It all starts off like this. I might be lazing on a couch, watching television, studying (rare though), etc. I am unaware of any desire for food. I am perfectly content with being skinny and having nothing in my stomach.

2) Desire for food registers.

Something feels wrong. I feel unnatural and it is stressing me out. An image of some random foodstuff pops up in my brain. In this case, it is ice-cream.

3) Fall into hypnosis.
This stage is the most dangerous of all. The foods turn evil and start hypnotizing me. I am unable to resist...it is too powerful! Only the strongest of brains are able block out its powers. Woe to you oh evil food!

4) Registeration.

My brain succumbs to the evil powers of food. It then sends signals to the stomach commanding food immediately.

5) Journey to Kitchen.

Now, I haul my lazy ass off the couch and start following the foods towards the kitchen like a zombie. All the while drooling and saying, must have food...must have food....

6) Decisions decisions decisions.

I enter the kitchen and realize that my mum has just come back from a very successful journey from Tesco. Foods are lying all over the place! Wafers, chocolate bars, crackers, cakes, you name it!

7) Strategy.

Where to start? Do I open the fridge or attack whatever is on the table? For the beginners, let me give you an important lesson. Strategy is important! It guarantees maximum food intake.

I realize this ends really suddenly. It is actually unfinished. I'll update later. Too tired! drawing takes the mickey outta me.

Motherfishing Instructor!!!

2010-06-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, I went nervously to Sepakat driving school for my QTI. It's a pre-test before the actual JPJ thing. Everyone keeps telling me it's no big deal, but still. You gotta pass this before you can take the JPJ test. So anyway...I went there and waited for like, an hour before there were any free instructors. I watched Anastatia and half of Legally Blonde on the TV there. (By the way, Legally Blonde is soooo stupid. Not in a good way.) Yes, that's how long I waited. I waited for one and a half movies. And then, I see my agent coming over to tell me who my instructor for QTI is. And I thought to myself:

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, please please please DON'T let it be Ah Yeow!

Allow me to Flashback for a moment here to let you truly understand my pain.

Everyone has to pass Undang. After that, there's another 3hour talk, and a 3 hour orientation. The orientation part, an instructor from Sepakat is supposed to introduce you to parts of the car, you know, like:

Those are pedals near your feet.
Those are windows on the door.
That is a cockroach on the backseat.

And then, he's supposed to teach you how to press the pedals and let you drive around the compound for a bit.

Much to my extreme unluckiness, I got AH YEOW. This disgusting rat is the laziest thing on earth. I'm not even going to refer to him as being human. No positive comments about IT will be tolerated in this blog!

So anyway, the thing didn't teach me anything. Just told me to start the engine, then drive around. The thing didn't even explain all the pedals to me. The thing just said,

Now press the left pedal. Now press the middle pedal. Now press the right pedal.

Then, after 45 minutes of driving around, the thing said,

good. Now go and wait out the rest of the 2hours and 15minutes.

I tell you, I was fuming. There is this system at the centre where you can't clock out before your 3hours is up. So I just sat there and waited! Ergghh. That seriously pissed me off.

Back to the story.

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, please please please DON'T let it be Ah Yeow!

Then my agent reached where I was sitting.

Your instructor for today will be Ah Yeow.

And I was like, oh gawd...

Ugh. I was groaning to myself. Then the thing said,

OK. Let's get your thumb print and we can start this thing.

5minutes later, still very nervous I must say, I was in the car. Checking my seatbelt and mirrors and all the other mandatory stuff. The thing was impatient. And the thing said,

Aiya, no need la. Just start the car and let's go.

And I was like, whaaat? I mean, you'll fail if you don't do this during the test. But anyway, nervously, I started the car. And I went into first gear, and off we went! The thing told me to take route F. Futher along the way, I realized that there was a little problem with the gearbox. It wouldn't change smoothly and sometimes the gear stick would get stuck. Ahh! I was so nervous, I thought I was going to fail because of this. I quickly glanced towards the thing, and to my horror, he was holding my form in one hand, and a scissors in the other.

.the objects in the thing's hands

And I thought to myself,

Oh no! Was I so bad that he's going to cut up my form and told me I failed? Was I going to Fail?!!

And to my intense intense intense intense intense shock and horror, (really, there are no words to describe this):

the thing shoved the scissors UP HIS NOSE AND STARTED TRIMMING HIS NOSE HAIR.

AND HE USED MY FORM TO COLLECT THE FALLING HAIR! EWWWWWWW.

Indeed, I was so shocked and disgusted that my car swerved and I almost hit a monkey.

The thing took no notice of this, and continued on with the disgusting, unsanitary act. I was no longer nervous at this point. In fact, when I told Wei Ling about this, she said I should have braked the car suddenly and let him cut his nose.

It doesn't end there. After finishing, he swept the hair from the paper ONTO MY FEET! Well, not exactly onto my feet, just towards my side of the car. Near the gearbox, which is, technically, MY FEET! What the hell is wrong with this guy?! I mean, come on! The window was open, throw it outside! Is that so hard? In fact, you don't even have to sweep it away, just let the wind blow it! Let mother nature take it's course. Maybe it will fall on some soil and grow nose hair trees or something. Bleh.

After that disgusting spectacle, the thing put the scissors down. Phew! Aah..but good things don't last long, do they? Directly after putting down the scissors, he picked up his tweezers, looked into the rearview mirror, and started PLUCKING AT HIS BEARD!

Why?! Why can't he do these things at home? Seriously, what's wrong with him?!

After that was done, he started DIGGING HIS NOSE! EWWW. Some more he dig until so syok. He was really enjoying it. The whole finger actually entered into his nose. And then can see him digging up, digging down, digging left, digging right. Turning circles also got. Grosss. After that, he pulled out the mother of all boogers! It was HUGE!

.disgusting!!! UGH!!

Then the thing looked at it for awhile, as if admiring it. Then he tiack-ed it out of the window. THANK GOD!! Considering his tendencies to leave his 'products' at MY side of the car, I had one horrible moment where I could imagine he wanted to flick it towards the gearbox, mis-aimed, and it landed on my face instead. *shudders*

And oh yes, how could I forget this! He took of his shoes during the whole time. The moment he took of his shoes...

HWAH!!

I thought I was going to die in there! I was trembling from the smell. Seriously. I closed my eyes and quickly exhaled out all the stink from my nose before it could reach my brain and cause Brain cancer. Thank goodness the window was open. I turn towards the right, literally stuck my head out of the window, and took in a big whiff of oxygen. I took in as much as I can. I can't be sticking my head out of the window every few seconds. Who knows when my next breath of fresh air will be?

Considering all the factors, the nose hair, the boogers, the stinky feet. It was a miracle I passed this thing. The gearbox PALES in comparison.

Haih. I just wanted my liscence man. =(

THE END

Boom Baby

2010-06-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

You know, the other day when I was studying my Chemistry, I flipped pass a page that made me remember something lawak. So it was the periodic table, and about the elements in Group 1. For people who hasn't, or doesn't intend to, or has had but forgotten, let me give you a crash course.

The diagram above is the Periodic Table. See group 1? It's the first row (duh!) from the left. So you should be seeing Lithuim L, Sodium Na, and Potassium K. Okay, the reactivity in this group increases as it goes down the group.
So in terms of explosion:

Lithuim-----> boom
Sodium-----> BOOM
Potassium---> BOOOOOOM

Get the picture? Sadly enough, explosions are considered 'dangerous' and 'hazardous'. We aren't 'allowed' to play with 'fire'. We could only put the stuff in water. Pffft. Lame, I know. Luckily enough for me though, 4sc3 is able to make anything awesome. Like, AWESOME!!! Time for the flashback.

A year ago, Chemistry Lab.
'Hari ini kita buat experiment! Tengok reactivity Lithuim, Soduim dan Potassium!' Junaidah yelled.

You had to yell in our class. Anything below yelling can't be heard. It's a fact. And Juniadah was so tiny. She has to yell to be seen anyway. Cute little thing. Just imagine her controlling OUR class. 4sc3. The most dreaded class. Our stand out point is laziness and noise.

'Ini Lithuim! We put Lithuim in water and see the reactivity! Then we compare observation! Tengok yang mana react lebih dashyat!'

We watched impatiently as the teacher took out a pair of thongs, take out a jar, remove the lid, and carefully take out a piece of metal. (Oooh..shiny.) Then she put the metal on a piece of paper, and then take out a knife and cut off a small portion. Then she use the thongs to pick up the metal and put it back in...

This was taking too long. My class cannot duduk diam-diam mia, how you expect us to sit still for so long? Then somebody asked,

'Kenapa cikgu? Racun ke?' cause, according to the book, its not.

'Taklah, saya tak mau kotorkan tangan.'

And we were all whaaaat...

Anyway, the teacher was taking too freaking long, the noise started to build up. Soon there was noise everywhere, I'm not joking. Frequent exposure to this can really lead to loss of hearing. And my tiny little teacher was like,

'Diam! Diam! Duduk dan tengok!' She was still capping the lid but the noise was overwhelming. It's like, a sea of noise coming from all sides. Un-blockable. And still, the noise was increasing. You'd think there would be a limit to how loud noise can be, but you're wrong.

Clumsily, she quickly filled a bowl with water and threw the metal in. Then she used the mic and shouted

'Tengok dia react! Tengok dia react!'

Nobody listened at first, but then we heard a fizzing noise. We all turned to look. And there it was, the most adorable thing. The Lithuim was just zipping across on top of the water.

Zip Zip Zip..

'Ooooooh...' everyone became quiet and watched the thing.

Pleased that the noise finally stopped, she tried explaining the science behind the thing, but of course the noise started increasing again. And the teacher was like, no..no..oh gawd just make the noise stop!
And in a moment of desperation, she said,

'Soduim lebih dashyat lagi!'

We all shaddup-ed immediately, excited to see more action. The teacher then picked up the thongs again. We groaned. Not again. The noise increased, increased, increased. The teacher knew it was coming. She frantically threw the thongs away, yanked off the lid, and took out the metal with her bare hands. Then she seperated a small piece of metal with her fingernails. Fingernails. She must be desperate dude.

'Ini soduim! Ini Soduim!' And then she threw the thing into the water.

This soduim was even more awesome than Lithuim. It became like, a silvery ball that zipped so fast across the surface, it was a white blur to us. It also left behind a trail of foam or something, it was so beautiful. After burning itself out, it went 'pop'.

We applauded! Again again! we demanded. And then the students at the back said

'Cikgu, tak tengok lah! Guna soduim tu besar sikit!'

We were so excited the noise started building up again. And the teacher said,

'Ok, ok! saya bagi kamu semua keluar ke longkang di luar tengok sendiri!'

Totally unorthodox, but she just wanted to get rid of the noise.

Whooo! Like a riot, we stormed out of the class, yelling

Soduim! Soduim! Soduim!

We crowded around the drain further up. The drain was quite deep. Then we had a mini countdown as we dropped the thing in. Almost immediately the Soduim started zipping across the water. We were all cheering for that single tiny piece of metal. Like jungle people. Some Form threes on the way to the Science lab walked by us and joined in the fun. They too were amazed at the beauty of Soduim. And much too soon, the soduim went 'pop'. We went awwwww! Everyone was sad to see it go.

Just then, Stanley ran out from the Chemistry lab, laughing like a happy lil girl. In his hand, he carried a large piece of metal. We cheered! The thing in the size of his hand was HUGE. Comparatively:

The teacher ran out from the class.

'Jangan main-mian! Bahaya! Bawa balik! Jangan ambil begitu besar! BAHAYA!' She shouted.

But she was helpless. Stanley already reached the drain and threw it in. Wow I swear, before the thing even hit the water it already started reacting. And this metal was just a-ma-zing. Like Soduim, it zipped around the water. And you know what? This metal was actually on fire! Imagine that! On fire in water! We were all amazed. Our heads were practically in the drain trying to look at the thing.

"Wow, what metal is this?" I asked Stanley while gazing at the beautiful fire resistant thing.

"Potassium , I think." He answered, gazing at the waterproof fireball too.

I snapped out of my trance.

"What did you say? Potassium?'

"Uh huh"

"Isn't that like, below Soduim?"

(Silence)

"Oh crap. Run eveyone! RUN!"

Ahhhhhhh!! Everyone ran away like a drunkards. I even saw my friends bang into each other. Before I could even laugh, I heard the explosion. Think of it this way. If a tiny piece of Soduim let off a 'pop' sound, imagine the sound a larger, more reactive piece of metal would make.

It went Boom! And then the water from the drain splashed out like a fountain. Seriously. It went about 2feet high, and just splashed everywhere.

.splashing everywhere.

. comparing its height

And then Junaidah came out and started scolding us. Totally unfair. We didn't do anything wrong besides stand beside a drain. Then she chased away the form 3 students who were so happy. I bet they couldn't wait to get into form4.

"Masuk balik! Masuk balik! Nanti rehat TAK BOLEH keluar!" The teacher chased us back in like chickens. She even tried to chase one form 3 student in. Poor girl.

Despite being deprived of our recess, we went back in happily anyway. All the while talking and yakking away, much to the teacher's despair. The bell rang. Everyone stood up to go out.

"Nanti! Saya kata TAK BOLEH keluar! Duduk!"

"Te-ri-maaaa kaaaaa-sihhhhh ciiiiiiik-guuuu!"

Then we keluar-ed.

The End.

Humiliated

2010-05-05T06:32:00.000-07:00

Last Friday was our school's sports day. And it was like, the lamest thing EVER. We only had..lemme see, long jump, high jump, 100m, tarik tali, cakera, lembing, lontar peluru...

Yeah I think that's about it. See? Told you it was lame.

The story goes like this :
I was supposed, supposed, to be in long jump. But because our teacher is just SO 'efficient', everybody's event kacau-bilau, kucar-kacir, kusut-masai.

Mine became 100m and high jump. Haiya. Some more the day before that purposely go train for long jump. I actually had a chance dude!!! (Not really)

100m - I got last. (giving other people a chance to win. I'm gracious.)

High Jump - Eheheh. It will remain etched in my mind forever. So I had like 3 jumps.

Jump#1
I just ran and jump. I literally just FLOPPED on the mattress.

Jump#2

After being humiliated, I decided to try a different approach. I copied how the athletes do it. You know, the one where they arch their backs and jump over?

Yeah. I just don't have those high jump cells in my body.

Anyway, the third time I improved dramatically. Still knocked the pole over though. My friends were all cheering in the field, I let them down! Gasp!

After being disqualified, LOL, I got my hands on a pembesar suara and cheered for my other purple teammate. It was between Blue and Purple. Blue's turn was up. This is how it goes.

Me: Go purple! Purple Yay! Blue, lose so that purple can go into the next round! PURPLE!

JOU FEN! JOU FEN!

And it was then two blue people came over and threatened me.

CHEER FOR BLUE TOO! they said. And so I change my cheering tactics.

Me: go blue.

GO PURPLE!!! JOUFEN JAI YOU!!! PURPLE!! PURPLE!

Then my friend yelled form the other end of the field. She said, sing a song to encourage her! And so I went:

Me: 还记得昨天，那个夏天，微风吹过的。。

And then my pembesar saura was taken away.

the end

Im seventeen!

2010-04-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh..time flies so fast. Its April already! January, February and March, Come Back! Put some more distance between me and SPM!

Still, I've seriously wasted 3 months. All I do in school is photocopy my friends homework. Thank God for nerds! *woot*

Don't judge me! I've actually improved a great deal from last year. Last year, I didn't even bother to do my homework at all. And last year, I only wrote 2 Bm essays...for my exam. Like, seriously.

Nah, I'm just kidding.

No, Seriously.

Oh right. Back to my oldness. How time flies! It seems like only yesterday I was blowing out the candles for my 17th birthday. (Yeah yeah, three days ago, whatever!)

So I start thinking, I'm seventeen right? That means I'm a century old, minus 8.3 decades. Gosh. But there are some upsides to birthdays. Number one being the presents of course!

Nah, I'm just kidding.

No, Seriously.

So anyway, this year I got like,

(a) a bag

(b) a watch

(c) a box of fake Feraro Rochers. ^^

(c) a car

(Well, not YET. But there WILL be one when I start spamming my dad.)

(d) a Nokia 5800
(Well, not Yet either. But optimism makes the world go round. =D)

(e) and a condom from 2 strangers. (Yeah. Weirddddd.)

But anyway, You should thank people on your birthdays. Even people who hate you. So I'm gonna write a thank-you note. And you will all read it and cry. CRY!

*Clears throat*
Dear humans,

First of all, I wanna thank my parents. Without them, I would not even be here.
(I was an accident, wasn't I? Thank god for condoms that only work 96% of the time. It's true.)

Without all the years of nurturing and discipline, I would not have become the person I have become.
(Child abuse! Tidak mengamalkan nilai melindungi hak kanak-kanak)

So really, thank you parents for all the years of love..
(And lecturing.)

Secondly, I wanna thank my friends and their wonderful gifts.
(Like, duh. Friends are supposed to give you gifts. Why else would I have friends for?)

You all didn't have to get me anything at all! I'm so touched!
(Try not giving me anything and I'll break your necks.)

Your gifts rocked, just exactly what I wanted!
(No Vios and Nokia 5800, but whatever.)

And I was really surprised by the surprise birthday party you guys threw for me!
(I had already practised my 'surprised face' at home)

I'd choose my friends over all the materialistic things in my life, anyday.
(Not really.)

And finally, to all the people who hate me,
(If it's even possible to)

I know the reason for your hate is beacuse of your own low self esteem.
(What a loser.)

And because of that, you have no friends. And therefore, you hate anyone with friends.
(Dude. No one cares.)

And I want you to know, if you have any problems, you can come to me.
(Don't come within a 1 kilometer radius of me. No, make that diameter.)

Because remember, everyone needs a friend, and I love you.
(Wtf? Go to hell!)

Sekian terima kasih.
Adorable and cute April.

Just joking. Just read the ones in blue. The good part. The part that shows that I'm a good person.

Read only the top line. I didn't mean at all what I said on the bottom line.

Seriously.

Nah, just kidding!

NO, SERIOUSLY.

=D

Future. Stress.

2010-04-09T19:37:00.000-07:00

Haha..I got back my results, and guess what? I totally failed my Physics. First time I failed something, EVER.

And I'm like, Whoo! I mean, there's always a first for everything right? I didn't even feel sad. My first reaction was like, I failed? Awesome. (yeah, I'm weird.)

But I'm thinking I gotta start studying now. There will be no whoohoo-ing or awesomeness when I fail SPM. *touchwood!*

So now people start to ask me what I wanna do when I grow up. Im thinking anything physics-related is out of the question.

You know, when I was younger and people ask,

What do you wanna be when you grow up?

Most little kids would spout off some common, lame, road-always-taken kinda thing. Some popular ones would be the teacher (yawn), the lawyer (yawn), and the doctor (double triple quadruple yawn).

Me? I took the road less travelled. I said,

"I wanna be a horse!"

Don't ask me why. Kids say the dumbest things.

As we get older, we realize that teachers, lawyers, doctors or horses aren't the only jobs in the world.

The ones who wanted to be teachers now want to be lecturers. The doctors evolve into surgeons. The lawyers become...hmm. What do lawyers become? Judges?

Me? I'm still kinda stuck with the same blank look on my face. Ever since my parents explained to me that I can't be a horse, or lion, or any other kind of any animal, I was lost. They asked me again:

So what do you want to be when you grow up?

Silence. Stress. Look at mum.

I don't know!

And all the adults go

Awww...isn't she cute...

Well, now that I'm older, it's not so cute anymore.

And now I have people suggesting all these hard-lined careers where I have the 'joy' of working 30 hours a day while earning six-figure salaries. Frankly, this scares me. If this would be the case, I wouldn't even have time to spend my money, whereby it will accumulate and gradually making me a ka-zillionaire. Shortly after which I will fall victim to a kidnapping that requires my vast fortune as ransom.

Nono. No thank you. I'd rather go back to being a horse. Black Beauty was a horse, and look how she turned out. (She didn't die, did she?) I know the spider from Charlotte's Web died, but hey, I never wanted to become a spider.

Song Of The Day: Pyramid by Charice feat. IYAZ (at my playlist)

Weird Dream

2010-04-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

  So I had a dream. I dreamt that I woke up in the middle of the night. And then for some weird reason, I went to open the fridge. (Is my dream trying to tell me I'm fat?!)

  Anyway, I go to the kitchen. (Because my fridge is in the kitchen. Duh. Who puts their kitchen in the living room?) Then I walk towards the fridge. But even though I have walked for a long time, I can't reach it. So I start to run. I run and run. The fridge gets a little bit closer. I don't know why I want to open the fridge so badly. All I can remember feeling is that I MUST open the fridge. So I run faster and faster. And finally, the fridge gets nearer and nearer. Finally I reach it.

I put my hand on the handle. Then I stand there and I think: Should I? What if there's something frightening in the fridge? It's in the middle of the night, and I didn't even on any lights.

  But the feeling inside my body just grew stronger. It said: Open the fridge. Open it. Open it NOW!

  It grew so strong that I just had to give in. And so I did.

  I opened the door, and I opened it slowly. The door made a creaking sound. (I don't know why it does. The fridge is new.) The light from the fridge lights up, giving the contents of the fridge a spooky glow. Dramatic music starts playing in the background. Then, cautiously, slowly, carefully, I look inside.

  And nothing could prepare me for it's contents. I got the shock of my life.

  (Before reading on, RELAX. It's not a nightmare. I actually thought I was going to have one while dreaming it myself.)

  The inside of the fridge, was filled with..CHOCOLATES! So filled up that you couldn't even stuff one more thing inside it. And every chocolate I have ever eaten in my life was inside that fridge. Seriously. There were

KITKATs TIMEOUTs CRUNCHYs PICNICs ANDES' TOBLERONEs CADBURYs CLOUDNINEs HERSHEY's BERYLs ZIPBARs! MARSBARs! TWIXBARs! GODIVAs EASTEREGGs NESTLEs...

I'm telling you...it was beautiful. And no...this is not the weird part. Wanna know what the weird part is? Wait for it...Wait for it...

In the middle of all those chocolates..there was...

AN ONION

Explain, anyone?

Sesame Street 40th Anniversary

2009-11-07T02:14:00.000-08:00

Sunny Days

Sweeping the Clouds Away

On My Way

To Where the Air is Sweet!

Can You Tell Me How to Get, How to Get to Sesame Street!

Can You Tell Me how To Get, How to Get to Sesame Street!

Haha..Sesame Street. I grew up watching this show. Adorable things. I understand its been evolved quite a bit now. New characters, theme song. Anyway, its MUCH MUCH better than Hello Kitty or Barbie.

I mean, what the heck, Hello Kitty doesn't even have a mouth. It cant sing. Or talk. Or yawn actually. So you just..stare at it. And stare. And stare. Yepp you just keep on staring at that mouthless freak of nature. And it just stares back. There was once, i went to someone's house, she had a HUGE Hello Kitty sitting in the corner. And like, where ever I walked, its eyes were always following me. I find that terrifying. Its like its plotting to steal my mouth or something.

Barbie is even worse. It talks too freaking much. And what's even worser*, it talks in a high pitch frequency that annoys the ears. It sounds like a buzzing mosquito near your ear. And what's even..worsest* is that it has a whole bunch of friends that speaks in the same way. So imagine a thousand mosquitoes buzzing beside your ear. And then, they try to tell you things like: 'Come on! Let's ride our Pink Unicorns across the Rainbow to the field of Clovers!' Yeah that's gonna happen. What bout I drive a Panzer tank across your mutated horses and heap your bleeding corpses in the dessert of despair? Hmm. So I hate Barbie. In fact, when I was young, I microwaved my Barbies. No joke. MWAHAHAHHAA.

Anyway, back to Sesame Street. Haha. Love the theme song. I can still remember it. Sunny days~

Plus they teach you alphabets and numbers and stuff. Wow do they never run out of alphabets to teach? I mean numbers i understand..numbers are unlimited. But alphabets? Aren't there only 26? But the point is they teach something! UNLIKE Hello Kitty who teaches NOTHING and Barbie who tells LIES! So watch the video! And uhm..vote!

The Version i grew up with..

New Intro

Elmo's Soooong..

It's amazing how someone with no thumbs (or fingers actually) can play the piano.

Kudos to you Elmo.

The chicken rice shop

2009-09-20T08:04:00.001-07:00

Hello people of this world! Im supposed to be memorizing my aural now, but i had chicken rice yesterday!

'So what?' I can hear you say. Its just chicken rice, right?

Wrong!

Its NOT just chicken rice! Don't ever talk about chicken rice like that! Its the most delicious-looking, mouth-watering, spine-tingling, finger-licking, saliva-triggering, great-tasting chicken in the world!!

And because it was soooo good, i had to ask for the recipe! So I went to the cook, and he happily gave me his recipe. Uhh..actually, I had to tie him to a chair and beat him until he gave it to me. But anyway! Here it is! From the chicken rice shoppp..*sings chicken rice shop's song*

Chicken Rice Receipi
~~Stolen by~~ created by: April Melody Tan Hui En

Add Maths Equation.
1) Take Chicken and substitute into rice
2) Take equation one and add to equation 2.
3) Chicken + Rice = ?

A. Duck Rice
B. Fish Porridge
C. Fried Prawns

Haha..just joking. The answer is so simple. Of course its,

TURKEY DRUMSTICK!

hahahha..

Welcome to Hell

2009-03-12T06:54:00.000-07:00

Ishk..I had my physics and chemistry 2dae. And it was hell! Especially physics. Seriously! I din even knw how 2 do a single question! Dunno dunno wat la..muz convert here la, convert there la. And then dunno wat ticker tape la, acceleration la, velocity la. Wats da use of dat?! Do we even need it when we grow up?! I mean, if we were to go for an interview, do you tink da interviewer wud ask u :' What is the uniform velocity of the dots when the ticker tape is pulled harder?' Lol. I din even know if dat made sense. So anyway..lemme tell u wat happened 2dae. ekekeke.

The bell rang. It was time 4 chemistry. We were all trying to cram last minute stuff into our pitiful brains.

"Hey if wanna find the number of particles or number of moles must do what again? Ahh..ydae memorize ervything, today forget d.." (Wei Ling is orange)

"Huh? What number of particles? What mols? Got such thing one r?! What is that?! Omg..omg..faster teach me!!" (I'm Blue)

"No lar..actually very easy only. You just have to memorize this diagram. See, if u wanna find number of moles, then you have to take the number of particles and multiply. If u want to find number of moles take and divide. See this arrow here? and Here? and Here and Here and Here? Its the most simple diagram." (Yin Sze is green)

We both looked at the diagram. It was the most complicating diagram we have ever seen. Just then, the teacher walked into our classroom. All books and bags out now! The exam is going to start now!

"What?! Noooo! I have to memorize this thing!!"

"If arrow point here, then this thing must go there, and that thing must carry here..Oh my God.."

"Nooo! Not lidat! U just have to remeber that if u wanna find this, then u have to multiply. Wanna find this than have to divide. The rest is the same!"

"Oh My God.."

"Aiyorr..what are you all talking about? Ahh! Why that diagram so complicating one!!" (This is Christine)

"YinSze draw one..this is to find particles!"

"Oh My God.."

"What? No! That's to find mols!"

"Oh My God.."

"Why you memorize until so difficult! No need la..I teach you an easier method! So u see here, just draw this diagram!"

"Oh My God.."

"Everybody sit down. I'm going to give out the question papers now."

"Oh my God.."

We all sat down and waited as the paper was passed along row by row. Don open your papers until I tell you to do so! Pffft..I don care. I turned over to the last page..terrible. I looked over at Weiling. She shook her head. I looked behind to YinSze and Christine. Both also din look at me. Not Alert!! You may start...Now.

This is Part one. I'll continue Part 2 another day.

Frenz..are always by your side..and annoys you while their there.

2009-02-27T17:25:00.000-08:00

The teacher called my name. I stood up, and was really really blurr bout what I was supposed to do.

"Psst..Wei Ling..which paragraph am I supposed to read?" I whispered from the corner of my mouth, trying to not let the teacher see. She whispered back,

"You don't have to read anything lar, donkey. You have to answer the 2nd question!"

"Oic..erm..and what's the answer?" In front, the teacher was waiting expectantly for my answer.

"Eesh..pay more attention in class next time."

"Yayaya, what's the answer?!"

"Wait lar, I'm not a genius K?!" Wei Ling was getting annoyed, I was getting afraid, and the teacher was geting impatient.

"April, I am still waiting for your answer." The teacher said. "If you cannot answer the question, that means you have not been paying attention in my class." The whole class turned to looked at me. 39 pairs of eyes. I turned to Wei Ling. She was scribbling out a formula trying to get the answer.

"Erm..okay..uhh..the answer..to question number 2..is..erm.."

"Just answer the question. Do you, or do you not know the answer? If you can't even answer this simple question, how are you going to pass your exam?! *touchwood* Maybe I should deduct marks from your next exam to make you pay more attention in MY class." Okay, I really sucked in chemistry, and I didn't need extra marks deducted to help me pass. I was PANICKING.

"Wei Ling!! Help!! Please..i promise I'll pay attention in class forever and ever and ever."

"Wait..I got the answer..but I'm not sure correct anot..aiya..let me calculate again lar."

"Wei Ling!!" I yelled while whispering. Damn hard by the way.

"April!!" The teacher yelled without whispering. Damn scary.

"Okay okay! The answer is B! This is so stressful!"

I looked at the teacher. "The answer is B." I seriously hoped the answer was correct. I didn't need any marks deducted. Please please please please please. The teacher consulted her book.

"The answer is correct."

Phew! What would ever do without friends? I'm really thankful to have so many. I tink I'll write a bioraphy on each of them next time. I'm grateful for all the times you saved my ass! (Don't act like I've never saved yours!)

Wei Ling (Ceceilia)| Christine (Christina/Zygote) | Yin Sze (Ostricha)| Stanley (Afrika/Testica) | Ju Lynn (Angela) | Sing Tark (Carnivourous Tark. Lol) | Chin Shern (Hmm..din find one 4 him yet) | Kok Wei (Iguana) | Jou Fen (Deborah) | Pui San (Monica) | Jee Nie (Ievonna) |

The ones in brackets are horrible, 3 syllable nicknames we chose for each other. Hahah. But before I could even sit down..

"Now come out and explain your answer on the board." The teacher said, breaking my train of thoughts. Owhh shite. My eyes widen with fear. I looked at Wei Ling. She rolled her eyes and gave me the formula. Yes! haha..

I hate my cousin

2008-11-24T01:32:00.000-08:00

I was in Penang and jz out of boredom, We started a game of blackjack(inspired by the major motion picture 21). Simple game..jz get as close to 21 without going over. Before we could even start the game, our aunt came over and said: 'What!! Gambling at such a young age?!! I'm ashamed of you!! Reli..blablabla.."

In the end, we couldn't bet more than 20sen per hand. Whoo i can't wait. (=.=!!)
After a few rounds my cousin suggested that we play 2 hands per person. Everybody agreed since our profit couldn't buy a bag of peanuts what with the economic crisis and all(yes, i read!). My cousin earn quite alot, so one thing led to another and u noe wat he did? The maniac played 5 hands. 5 HANDS!!

I noe I said that he had unlimited change..and made chicken noises when he wouldn't raise his bet..and called him a coward when he wouldn't draw a 17..and said he lacked feng-shui when he DID draw to a 17 and went Ka-Boom..and..and..and..oh wait, i lost my point.

Oh i remember now. Okay..so anyway..u noe wat he got?

He got 2 BLACKJACKS, ONE 'NGO-LENG 21', and the other 2 didn't go over.

The congker bust and thus he won every hand. Every hand.

And you noe wat? The congker was me!!!

Anyway..i expect you can see him blabbing about it in his blog rite now.

I bet you...20 cents!!!