The Fight

“I’m moving out and never coming back!” claimed grandma.

“Haiz...but where will you go?” My mum answered my grandma. This wasn’t the first time she wanted to ‘moved out and never come back’. My 3^rd aunt and my grandma were having one of their typical fights. But this one was fast becoming a family fued. They lived under the same roof for over 20 years! Bless me if one of them didn’t get a heart attack soon. Lately, it’s been getting worse, maybe it’s because of menopause or something. Lack of hormones or testorone or astro-whatever-you-call it. Anyway, my grandma had her bags all packed and ready to leave for good. (Rest assured she always came back). She decided to stay at my uncle’s house in Penang forever. Not that my uncle will allow it but as I said, she always came back.

“My last departing wish is..” she said dramatically, “...that you take care of my beautiful flourishing plants!”

I looked over to where she was pointing and saw a bunch of hideous looking wilted flowers.

“Especially this one!” She exclaimed, hobbling over towards a plant.

It was the most hideous of the lot.

“It’s the most beautiful of the lot!”

“What is that thing?”

“I have no idea..” She replied, eyes watering with pride. We stood there for a moment staring at the hideous thing before us. I’m not even sure if it’s a plant. Some unknown species fresh of Mars I expect. Ah well, I always said it was time my grandma needed glasses.

“You know what? You better take this plant back. Just in case. I don’t trust your aunt with it” My grandma said, not bothered enough to lower her voice. In fact, I think she even raised it a little so that my aunt could hear.

“ Yeah! I’ll probably poison it with my cooking, won’t I!” Oh no...

“I just said it needed a little salt! Why do you always have to-”

“Just needed a little salt?! That’s not what you said! Have you already forgotten you old woman?! Let me refresh your memory then! You said my cooking not only tasted disgusting and unedible, you also said it’d be good for rat poison! Now you know what? I have a brilliant idea! I’ll poison your precious plant! No wait, I think I’ll poison you instead! Oh yes..that’s a much better idea! And if there’s a little left over, then I’ll use it as rat poison and poison all those rats your plant attracted!” My 3^rd aunt finally stormed down the stairs.

“ Oh you have crossed the line!” My grandma picked up her bag and started walking down the road. As to where I’m not quite sure. She was seething anyway and probably blinded. As she was in the middle of the road, she tripped on the neighbours chicken. She felled down and yelled. And when her bags fell down on her, she yelled even louder. I think that’s what initiated the chicken to crow.

“COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOO....!” Well, a sleeping baby sure didn’t appreciate that and started crying. And to add onto that, a car in the horizon started to blare it’s horn. Probably wondering why there was an old woman asleep in the middle of the road. The problem was...she wasn’t asleep. She passed out, thus making her pretty much defenseless. Crap. I think the car also realized that and swerved suddenly to avoid my grandma. It swerved just in time but the sad part was it hit the stupid crowing chicken, which didin’t bother to get out of the way . I watched all this in horror and saw the bloody chicken lying dead on the road. Hmm...Finger Licking Good.

Anyway...long story short..the hideous thing is now at our house.