Ranting about JB

Hi there, just a short post. I haven't updated in quite a while, and I'm feeling kind of guilty because SPM is over, and I have so much free time on my hands I don't know what to do with it. And also, my internet is being annoying and refuses to let me sign in. Yahoo as well. Any explanations?

Looking at the title, and being a Malaysian, maybe the logical conclusion people would make is I'm ranting about Johor Bahru.

Well, I'm not.

Don't get me wrong, there are many things to rant on about Johor Bahru. It's so dirty. Mainly because we had to go there after coming back from the super clean Singapore. And really, the contrast is just so huge I guess the dirtiness in Johor got intensified.

That's not my point, and I will be moving on before I offend the Johorians. Johornites? Johorkians? Whatever.

So what does JB stand for? And yes, of course, if it isn't Johor Bahru, then it's Justine Babi.

Don't say I'm disrespectful! I capitalised his name!

Eek, I forgot, Babi is supposed to be a rude word in Malay. Alright then, we'll call him Khinzir, okay?

If you asked me why I hate Khinzir him so much, I probably couldn't answer you, because actually, I have no idea why myself. Why the sudden spontaneous repulsion to this particular human being?

That remains an unsolvable mystery. Another unsolvable mystery being why he has fans. Yupp. Chew on that, humans!

And now to top it all off, he has a freaking movie coming out. And I'm like, wuttt?

What has he achieved in life that could possibly stretch out into an entire movie? They'd probably show endless clips of him flipping his hair. Over and over. On loop. Really, he flips his hair so much we could use it as a feather duster.

And now I heard he's with Selena Gomez. I don't know if it's true, I don't know if it's been confirmed. I don't really care. It has been my great misfortune to accidentally stumble upon this piece of news. He so does not go well with Selena Gomez. It's weird and creepy.

Well, I can't deny Khinzir love either. So instead, I'm gonna be suggesting another singer for him to be with. And that singer, is none another than Willow Smith.

In case you don't know, Willow Smith sings the song 'Whip My Hair'. It's highly annoying yet gets stuck in your head for days. Yepp, it's one of those kinds of songs. Listen to it. Be warned though, you might go crazy for a couple of days.

Really, just listen to the first couple of lines and I would have made my point. You don't have to watch the rest of the video.It doesn't really teach you anything except that if you are running low on funds and you need to repaint your house, get a couple of drunk college kids, dunk their head in paint, and blast this song on maximum. That'll get the job done in no time.





All in all, I would say they make a pretty good match. She can sing 'Whip My Hair' while Khinzir...whips his hair. What a great couple. It'd be epic.

Back to the topic. Did we actually stray off the topic? Meh. Where were we anyway? Hmm..let's see. I hate Khinzir, Khinzir got a movie, hair whipping. Oh yes, the movie. Want to know the  best part about the movie? Get this, it's in 3D! Yay!

So instead seeing him flip his hair harmlessly on TV like we normally do, this time he's gonna be flipping it all over your face. Like a feather duster just...brushing. Well two can play at this game! I'll gel my hair into spikes, and when he tries feather dusting me, I'll spike him right back in the face!

Seriously. If people couldn't stand him flipping his hair in 2D, what makes the producers think people would want to see him flipping his hair in 3D? This really wasn't well though out at all.

 And there's one part in the movie trailer where Khinzir yells out:

NEVER! SAY! NEVERRRRRRR!

And then I'm assuming that his girl fans will go all crazy and start screaming like dying cats. I've never actually watched the trailer, I couldn't bring myself to watch it. But my friend Ju Lynn told me about this part and I'm like, Eww! If I were watching it in the movies I would have puked. Like seriously. There'd be serious 3D vomit flying all over the place. 

  

To his fans, I'm sorry, I truly am. But there IS one good thing I can say about him. 

No, it's not his voice. Once, someone heard his song on the radio, and that person was like, 'Yerr, who's this girl? She can't sing at all!' Haha that was funny. 

No, it's not his looks. I don't really care for the feminine type. He confuses me with his she-male looks. On the bright side though, I bet he could make a good living in Thailand. I've heard the men there are even prettier than women. 

No, it's not his hair. OH GOOD GOD NO.

The only thing I like about him is the song 'Pray'. 

I close my eyes!!! HAHA!!!

I've got nothing else to say. That's the best I can squeeze out of my compliment.

THE END