Motherfishing Instructor!!!

Last Saturday, I went nervously to Sepakat driving school for my QTI. It's a pre-test before the actual JPJ thing. Everyone keeps telling me it's no big deal, but still. You gotta pass this before you can take the JPJ test. So anyway...I went there and waited for like, an hour before there were any free instructors. I watched Anastatia and half of Legally Blonde on the TV there. (By the way, Legally Blonde is soooo stupid. Not in a good way.) Yes, that's how long I waited. I waited for one and a half movies. And then, I see my agent coming over to tell me who my instructor for QTI is. And I thought to myself:

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, please please please DON'T let it be Ah Yeow! 


Allow me to Flashback for a moment here to let you truly understand my pain.

Everyone has to pass Undang. After that, there's another 3hour talk, and a 3 hour orientation. The orientation part, an instructor from Sepakat is supposed to introduce you to parts of the car, you know, like:

Those are pedals near your feet.
Those are windows on the door. 
That is a cockroach on the backseat. 


And then, he's supposed to teach you how to press the pedals and let you drive around the compound for a bit.

Much to my extreme unluckiness, I got AH YEOW. This disgusting rat is the laziest thing on earth. I'm not even going to refer to him as being human. No positive comments about IT will be tolerated in this blog!

So anyway, the thing didn't teach me anything. Just told me to start the engine, then drive around. The thing didn't even explain all the pedals to me. The thing just said,

Now press the left pedal. Now press the middle pedal. Now press the right pedal.

Then, after 45 minutes of driving around, the thing said,


good. Now go and wait out the rest of the 2hours and 15minutes. 


I tell you, I was fuming. There is this system at the centre where you can't clock out before your 3hours is up. So I just sat there and waited! Ergghh. That seriously pissed me off.

Back to the story.

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, please please please DON'T let it be Ah Yeow! 


Then my agent reached where I was sitting.

Your instructor for today will be Ah Yeow. 


And I was like, oh gawd...


Ugh. I was groaning to myself. Then the thing said,

OK. Let's get your thumb print and we can start this thing.


5minutes later, still very nervous I must say, I was in the car. Checking my seatbelt and mirrors and all the other mandatory stuff. The thing was impatient. And the thing said,

Aiya, no need la. Just start the car and let's go. 


And I was like, whaaat? I mean, you'll fail if you don't do this during the test. But anyway, nervously, I started the car. And I went into first gear, and off we went! The thing told me to take route F. Futher along the way, I realized that there was a little problem with the gearbox. It wouldn't change smoothly and sometimes the gear stick would get stuck. Ahh! I was so nervous, I thought I was going to fail because of this. I quickly glanced towards the thing, and to my horror, he was holding my form in one hand, and a scissors in the other.

.the objects in the thing's hands

And I thought to myself,

Oh no! Was I so bad that he's going to cut up my form and told me I failed? Was I going to Fail?!!

And to my intense intense intense intense intense shock and horror, (really, there are no words to describe this):

the thing shoved the scissors UP HIS NOSE AND STARTED TRIMMING HIS NOSE HAIR. 

AND HE USED MY FORM TO COLLECT THE FALLING HAIR! EWWWWWWW. 

Indeed, I was so shocked and disgusted that my car swerved and I almost hit a monkey. 

The thing took no notice of this, and continued on with the disgusting, unsanitary act. I was no longer nervous at this point. In fact, when I told Wei Ling about this, she said I should have braked the car suddenly and let him cut his nose.

It doesn't end there. After finishing, he swept the hair from the paper ONTO MY FEET! Well, not exactly onto my feet, just towards my side of the car. Near the gearbox, which is, technically, MY FEET! What the hell is wrong with this guy?! I mean, come on! The window was open, throw it outside! Is that so hard? In fact, you don't even have to sweep it away, just let the wind blow it! Let mother nature take it's course. Maybe it will fall on some soil and grow nose hair trees or something. Bleh.

After that disgusting spectacle, the thing put the scissors down. Phew! Aah..but good things don't last long, do they? Directly after putting down the scissors, he picked up his tweezers, looked into the rearview mirror, and started PLUCKING AT HIS BEARD! 

Why?! Why can't he do these things at home? Seriously, what's wrong with him?!

After that was done, he started DIGGING HIS NOSE! EWWW. Some more he dig until so syok. He was really enjoying it. The whole finger actually entered into his nose. And then can see him digging up, digging down, digging left, digging right. Turning circles also got. Grosss. After that, he pulled out the mother of all boogers! It was HUGE!

.disgusting!!! UGH!!

Then the thing looked at it for awhile, as if admiring it. Then he tiack-ed it out of the window. THANK GOD!! Considering his tendencies to leave his 'products' at MY side of the car, I had one horrible moment where I could imagine he wanted to flick it towards the gearbox, mis-aimed, and it landed on my face instead. *shudders* 

And oh yes, how could I forget this! He took of his shoes during the whole time. The moment he took of his shoes...

HWAH!!

I thought I was going to die in there! I was trembling from the smell. Seriously. I closed my eyes and quickly exhaled out all the stink from my nose before it could reach my brain and cause Brain cancer. Thank goodness the window was open. I turn towards the right, literally stuck my head out of the window, and took in a big whiff of oxygen. I took in as much as I can. I can't be sticking my head out of the window every few seconds. Who knows when my next breath of fresh air will be?

Considering all the factors, the nose hair, the boogers, the stinky feet. It was a miracle I passed this thing. The gearbox PALES in comparison.  

Haih. I just wanted my liscence man. =(

THE END