What do you do when you see the Agong?

A typical journey from my hostel to the jetty takes 45 minutes.

On Friday, I booked my 1.30pm bus ticket online from Butterworth to Kamunting. My class ended at 10:00am, so I actually had lots of time to get to the jetty.

But things seldom go my way. (Mostly due to lack of planning, but to boost my self-esteem, lets call this lack of planning 'spontaneous-ity' shall we?) And on Friday, things indeed did not go my way.

So after class, we went for lunch as is our tradition. There's nothing much to do except eat after class. Well, studying is an option, but meh.

And so our story begins.

We all headed down to the car park, because where else would one park a car? Anywhere nearest possible to an entrance apparently, because in INTI there is serious lack of space. Like, SERIOUSLY. If not for double parking at every lot, most of the car owners would not have any parking space at all. Not surprising then that during random hours of the day, the PA system would come on and say

"Paging for car owner bla bla bla random number random number random number, please move your car immedietly. I repeat, paging for car owner..."

So anyways, we got into the car and our driver, Mr.Finsen Ong, started the car but neglected to buckle on his seatbelt. Irresponsible driver! Oh please don't get me started on the scariness of his driving. It is uncountable the times we almost passed away in his car. However, he is currently the ONLY person with a car among our circle of friends, so really we have no choice. Damn I totally made friends with the wrong people.

Oh! Stepheny has a car too, but her car is currently in the hospital. Where Finsen drives with speed, Stepheny overtakes. Seriously, entering their car is like signing a death contract. Lines on the road mean nothing to Steph. To her, its like art..the lines are modern art.

Where was I? Oh yes, Finsen did not put on his seatbelt. And so Isaura says,

"Yorr, why you never put on your seatbelt? Later sure got police one."


No sooner had she said this than a gang of police was waiting right at the corner. What coincidence! But then someone said that the police was there because of the Agung. It was rumored that he was going to grace us with his presence in Penang. Frankly, I couldn't care less where the Agung placed his presence, so as long as those police weren't traffic police and we weren't getting saman-ed, I was happy.

And so we went to Genting cafe in Penang, and it was there that I had the best non-Hong Kong styled Chee Cheong Fan in my life! Awesome Chee Cheong Fan people! I should text the Agung and let him know of this place!

After that, I was dropped off at a bus stop. According to Finsen and my uncle, this road was the main road. In fact, the road is so main that all buses should pass by this road. The rest went off to get cake for a surprise birthday party which sadly, I couldn't attend because I was facing bankruptcy. I had only RM3 in my wallet. Spit broke I was. Sad. =(

30 minutes later

I was still at the bus stop. I was getting fidgety. Usually, even at non-main road bus stops, some buses would have passed by by now. It has been half an hour and ZERO Rapids have passed by. There was something wrong. Very wrong.

I got up to pace my nervousness away. In the end, I decided to walk further up to find a new bus stop in hope that more buses passed by that one.

Every few steps or so, I would turn around to check if there were any rapids coming. There were none. And so I continued walking. I walked and walked. I turned and turned. I walked and turned. I turned and walked.
In the end I reached a second bus stop, and I sat there. Though what difference that made I have no idea because I was still on the same stretch of road.

One thing though I noticed was that on the other side of the road, there were actually a few Rapids passing by. Although I knew that none of them would reach the jetty because they were moving in the other direction, I decided to give it a try anyway. Wrong rapids are better than no rapids.

So after sitting at the 2nd bus stop for 10minutes, I decided to cross the road. Further up the road was a flyover, and I walked towards it.

Bear in mind that I was already tired by then. The distance between the first bus stop and second bus stop wasn't near at all. And now I had to walk from the second bus stop to the flyover, which wasn't near too. I mean, it wasn't that far, but it wasn't near either. And I was carrying my backpack all over the place. Due to the lack of exercise, I consider this a full body workout.

Naturally, I was sad to see all the stairs leading up to the flyover. Sigh. I climbed all the way up, sidestepping a beggar on the way. I reached the top and walked across to the other side, side stepping another beggar as well. Why do the beggars sit here anyway? Rich people do not use flyovers!

As soon as I reached the other side, a rapid showed up. Of course it didn't go to the jetty. I already knew that before I crossed the road. Why did I even bother then?

I looked at the time, it was already 12:45pm! Gasp! I still had to take a ferry across to Butterworth before I could catch my 1:30pm bus! Desperate times called for desperate measures, I needed transport badly. Hence the phone was brought out and my cousin's number was dialled.

"Hello? Sher Lynn, where are you?"


"In the bus lor..almost reaching KL already. Why?" 


"Argh!"


*click*

I called cousin number two.

"Hello, Yen Lynn, are you free now?"


"Nope, I'm working. Why?"


"Argh! I need transport to the jetty to catch my bus."


"Oh okay, you can try calling my dad and see."


"Okay okay." 


*click*

So I called my uncle next. I feel kinda bad because everybody was working. I told my uncle my location, and he said okay, he was going to pick me up at BHP petrol station. After hanging up the phone, I started looking for it.

And when I saw the outline of the building I almost fainted. It was SO FAR AWAY!



I wished it could be here, but no.

I hoped this was the furthest the petrol station would be, but no.

Nooooo. It had to be far far far away.

It was on the other side of the road, and located about a few hundred metres in front of the FIRST bus stop. Ah well, what did I expect. Things like that happen to me all the time. I was resigned to my fate. So I began walking towards the petrol station and only planned to cross the road when I got there.

Bad, bad decision.

By the time I got ALL THE WAY THERE,  I realized that crossing the road was impossible because of all the CARS. I mean, what's up with that?! CARPOOL PEOPLE! 


I spent the next 5 minutes trying to cross the road in vain before I realized my efforts were futile. I began my walk of shame ALL THE WAY BACK to the flyover. By then, I realized my uncle would reach the petrol station before me if I didn't hurry up now because I still had a long way to go. Fuelled by this thought, I started jogging.

To add on to that, the heat was so oppressive. I was getting impatient and irritated. It's hard to remain cheerful after all these obstacles, no? Don't judge me I'm only human!

So back to the jogging. I jogged all the way back to the flyover, up the stairs, jumped over the beggars and got back to the other side of the road. Then I began my journey back to the BHP station.

However, as I walked, I noticed something was not right. Wondering what it was, I looked up, and noticed that there were no cars! Strange. The whole road was free of cars. Just as I was wondering what was up, a whole gang of policemen in motorcycles appeared in the distance, riding in a V formation.You know, like when geese migrate or something, they fly in a V shape. That was exactly the shape of the formation.

Behind the policemen/geese people, were another 2 cars. Both were heavily tinted, the windows were so black you couldn't see through at all. Behind these cars were another 2 motorcycles. It was then that it occurred to me: It was the Agung!

I was so freaking annoyed at this revelation. It was the Agung that caused the lack of Rapids, caused me to walk all over the place and caused me to miss my bus! I mean I respect the Agung and all, but does he really need the whole road? Absurd! Before I could properly processed my thoughts, I heard a helicopter flying overhead. And I was like, the Agung needs a helicopter? SERIOUSLY?!

By then, the whole armada had reached where I was walking. As they passed by, I looked impatiently at them. They were actually so close I could have tapped on the window if I wanted to. But no, I needed to get to the petrol station.

To cut a already very long story short, I missed my bus and everything. And to add on to that, I had to borrow money from my uncle because I had no more money to buy my bus ticket. Completely broke.

As I was relating this story to my friend, he actually gasped out loud.

"Why? What?"


"Oh my goodness, I can't belive it."


"What what? Believe what? You're scaring me!"


"When the Agung passes by, you're supposed to stand up straight! Not continue walking and glaring at the Agung!"


"I wasn't glaring, I was just looking at him impatiently."


"You shouldn't even have been at the side of the road! There must be nothing at the side of the road out of respect for the Agung! You had to hide! Even cats have to be removed!"


Now I really don't know how much of what my friend said was true. But now that I come to think of it, the sidewalk was unnaturally empty. Prior to this, it was full of people. But really, after hearing what my friend said, I was laughing about it the whole day.

Just imagine, the Agung passes by and I have to hide behind a tree. What the heck? LOL.

And then compare that to what actually happened, that was me half-glaring at the Agung's car.

Now after I have taken my bath and cooled down, I begin to process information more rationally, and I concluded that nothing my friend said could possibly be true. I mean, even cats have to be removed? Animal cruelty much. And then to think that, after going through the trouble of killing all the cats along the road, the Agung might actually be sleeping in the car and saw nothing of the outside world, what a waste.

Oh well. It's things like these that makes life interesting.

On a side note: I'm featured as blogger of the week on Digi Woww Awards! Cool huh! XD

FYI: I'm the witty 17 year old perakian!
FFYI: I'm actually 18 this year.
FFFYI: And I was actually born in Pahang.

But other than that, YAY!

Rat

I'm angry right now! Or sad. Or desperate. I don't know ok?!

Before you think that I'm going through a break up or something, please know that I'm talking about a rat. Yes, a rat. And no, I'm not dating this rat. It's just a rat that suddenly appeared in our house a month ago. And it just pops in and out as it pleases.

My mum is like, freaking terrified of rats. Like, seriously. She'll just scream and scream and scream when she sees a rat. Any rat, anywhere. Even at hawker centres, when a rat runs by like ten tables away, she'll start screaming. And then I'll look away and pretend I don't know what's happening.

Yes, it's the real deal my mum's fear of rats. Apparently, the fear of rats is known as Musophobia. Nice word, no? It suits the fear.

So anyway, my mum went on and on and on about this rat. Every single day since the rat appeared she has to talk about it at least once.

Everyday she'd be like, 'Yorr, girl ah, what to do?'


Then I'll be like, 'What? Catch it lah. I say so many times already.'


And she'll be like, 'I dare not catch it! I dare not take away the cage!'


And then I'll be like, 'I take lah. I said SO many times already.'


And she'll be all, 'Really? You say one har?'


And I'll be like, 'YES. I said SO MANY TIMES ALREADY!!!'


And then she'll say, 'Aiyah, don't want lah, don't want lah. So disgusting.'


And then I'll be all, 'Suak. After the rat reproduce and give birth to a million baby rats don't come and find me.'


And she'll be like, 'Yerr..girl ah! Why you like that one!'


But the next day, when she finds out the rat ate her potato/bread/banana or whatever, the whole conversation would be repeated all over again.

And I have no idea why people can be so afraid of rats. Like my mum, she's not afraid of cats but she's afraid of rats. I mean, why? If you're afraid of animals in general then I understand. But this is just so weird.

If you think about it, cats are actually bigger than rats. And cats don't run when they see you. In fact, they come closer if they think there's a chance for free food.

Rats on the other hand, run even when they hear a remotely human-like sounding activity. And they take your food quietly in the middle of the night. It doesn't kacau you at all.

Yes, yes. I know rats are dirty. They carry diseases and stuff. They bite through your electricity cables. And they bite through your rubbish bag. And they steal your food. And cats clean themselves. And they don't carry diseases. And at least they don't steal food, they beg for food. And they kill rats.

Anyway, my mum finally gave in one day. She bought a rat trap...and rat poison to go with it. I've never seen rat poison before. I thought rat poison was a liquid or soultion. And then you put it on the food that the rat is supposed to eat. But it's not like that at all!

It's a little pink roundish thing, and the rat is supposed to eat it. After eating it, the rat is supposed to feel like, super thirsty or something and go drink water. When it drinks the water, the water is supposed to have a chemical reaction of some sort with the rat poison, and the rat dies.

You know what the weird thing is? My mum does not even dare to touch the rat trap. Sweat, right? I had to put that smelly dried sotong on the hook of the cage.







Something like that. When it bites the sotong, which is hooked on to a wire, the spring will be activated and the door will close.

My mum went on full offence. She set the trap and put rat poison everywhere.

The first few nights the rat didn't bite the bait. My mum started thinking that maybe my neighbour's crazy theory was true. This 'theory', so called, is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Look at it.

Crazy theory: Rats understand human language and therefore knows of your plan to catch it. Hence, it does not fall for traps.

Chinese superstitions are weirddddd.

Anyway, this morning on the 4th day of Operation: Rat Trap, I was rudely awaken by my mum yelling,

'Girl! Girl! The rat! The rat! It's in the trap! It's just sitting there! Faster come and take it awayyyyy!'


I rolled out of bed and went to the trap. Oh and poor rat. It was trying so hard to escape! Biting the walls, sniffing everywhere. It didn't even finish the sotong. It was too scared to eat maybe?

So I went and pick it up. And he/she/it was so pitiful. It looked at me with those eyes.

And that's when something occured to me. I asked my mum,

'What are you going to do with the rat?'


'Kill it, of course!!'


'How?'


'By pouring hot water on it.'


'WHAT?! NO! That's so cruel!!'


'Got what other ways? It's better than leaving it under the sun to be scorched to death.'


'Don't like that lah! It's so inhumane! It didn't even do anything wrong!'


'What? It ate our food!'


'Of course lah, it eats to survive ma! Not its fault!'


'Then what do you suggest we do to it?'


'Take it to a dumpster far away or something?'


'No! It will run back to our house!'


'Oh yeah. Right. I leave it in a dumpster full of food and the first thing it thinks of is to run right back to our house. Even Chihuahua's aren't that stupid'


'And how are we supposed to take it to this 'far away dumpster'? Put in in MY car? NO!'


'Then at least poison it or something lah. Don't use hot water. That's just so wrong. I caught the rat! I get to decide how it dies!'


'Fine. Take it outside. If within one day it doesn't die, I'm using the hot water.'


So I took it outside. Poor rat. I popped in a few of those rat poison things. After half an hour, I went out to check if it ate the poison. It didn't touch any of them! It was still trying to escape. Poor thing. I'm beginning to worry for the rat.

I had no other choice. I gave crazy neighbour's theory a chance and I talked to the rat.

'Uhm hello? Hi there, rat. Listen, you have to eat these pretty pink things. It's good for you. You'd die peacefully like that. It's better than dying by hot water. I've heard that's quiet painful. Don't believe me? Ask your dead ancestors.'


'Don't kill me! I have 40 children to feed! I won't ever come to your house again, please! Is there no other method that does not end in my death?'


'I am sorry, rat.'


No, the rat did not actually reply me. But I think that was what it was saying. I hope it understood what I said.  I'm doubtful though. Just to be on the safe side, I googled:

HOW TO KILL A RAT HUMANELY 

This was what I found.

Cervical dislocation: Place the rat on its belly. Get a slim object to put pressure on the rats neck. Hold it by the tail, and pull back. You should here a ripping/breaking noise. 

(What the hell? This is not humane AT ALL!)

Projectile: Shoot the rat. (Ideally with a bb gun.) However there will be blood. So clean well. 

(Ewwww!)

Asphyxiation: Get an airtight plastic container. Get a small cup with baking soda and vinegar. Place the rat in the container. Pour the baking soda and vinegar into the cup and put that in the container. Close the lid. The rat should eventually pass out and painlessly die. this is the single most humane way to kill the rat. 

(This actually seems okay. I hope we have vinegar and baking soda in the house!)

I really wish there was some other way that involves not killing the rat. But it seems like there aren't. So say goodbye to your friends and family, rat. =(


Any ideas?!