Showing posts with label car. Show all posts
Showing posts with label car. Show all posts

Monday, June 27, 2011

What do you do when you see the Agong?

A typical journey from my hostel to the jetty takes 45 minutes.

On Friday, I booked my 1.30pm bus ticket online from Butterworth to Kamunting. My class ended at 10:00am, so I actually had lots of time to get to the jetty.

But things seldom go my way. (Mostly due to lack of planning, but to boost my self-esteem, lets call this lack of planning 'spontaneous-ity' shall we?) And on Friday, things indeed did not go my way.

So after class, we went for lunch as is our tradition. There's nothing much to do except eat after class. Well, studying is an option, but meh.

And so our story begins.

We all headed down to the car park, because where else would one park a car? Anywhere nearest possible to an entrance apparently, because in INTI there is serious lack of space. Like, SERIOUSLY. If not for double parking at every lot, most of the car owners would not have any parking space at all. Not surprising then that during random hours of the day, the PA system would come on and say

"Paging for car owner bla bla bla random number random number random number, please move your car immedietly. I repeat, paging for car owner..."

So anyways, we got into the car and our driver, Mr.Finsen Ong, started the car but neglected to buckle on his seatbelt. Irresponsible driver! Oh please don't get me started on the scariness of his driving. It is uncountable the times we almost passed away in his car. However, he is currently the ONLY person with a car among our circle of friends, so really we have no choice. Damn I totally made friends with the wrong people.

Oh! Stepheny has a car too, but her car is currently in the hospital. Where Finsen drives with speed, Stepheny overtakes. Seriously, entering their car is like signing a death contract. Lines on the road mean nothing to Steph. To her, its like art..the lines are modern art.

Where was I? Oh yes, Finsen did not put on his seatbelt. And so Isaura says,

"Yorr, why you never put on your seatbelt? Later sure got police one."


No sooner had she said this than a gang of police was waiting right at the corner. What coincidence! But then someone said that the police was there because of the Agung. It was rumored that he was going to grace us with his presence in Penang. Frankly, I couldn't care less where the Agung placed his presence, so as long as those police weren't traffic police and we weren't getting saman-ed, I was happy.

And so we went to Genting cafe in Penang, and it was there that I had the best non-Hong Kong styled Chee Cheong Fan in my life! Awesome Chee Cheong Fan people! I should text the Agung and let him know of this place!

After that, I was dropped off at a bus stop. According to Finsen and my uncle, this road was the main road. In fact, the road is so main that all buses should pass by this road. The rest went off to get cake for a surprise birthday party which sadly, I couldn't attend because I was facing bankruptcy. I had only RM3 in my wallet. Spit broke I was. Sad. =(

30 minutes later

I was still at the bus stop. I was getting fidgety. Usually, even at non-main road bus stops, some buses would have passed by by now. It has been half an hour and ZERO Rapids have passed by. There was something wrong. Very wrong.






I got up to pace my nervousness away. In the end, I decided to walk further up to find a new bus stop in hope that more buses passed by that one.







Every few steps or so, I would turn around to check if there were any rapids coming. There were none. And so I continued walking. I walked and walked. I turned and turned. I walked and turned. I turned and walked.
In the end I reached a second bus stop, and I sat there. Though what difference that made I have no idea because I was still on the same stretch of road.

One thing though I noticed was that on the other side of the road, there were actually a few Rapids passing by. Although I knew that none of them would reach the jetty because they were moving in the other direction, I decided to give it a try anyway. Wrong rapids are better than no rapids.

So after sitting at the 2nd bus stop for 10minutes, I decided to cross the road. Further up the road was a flyover, and I walked towards it.

Bear in mind that I was already tired by then. The distance between the first bus stop and second bus stop wasn't near at all. And now I had to walk from the second bus stop to the flyover, which wasn't near too. I mean, it wasn't that far, but it wasn't near either. And I was carrying my backpack all over the place. Due to the lack of exercise, I consider this a full body workout.

Naturally, I was sad to see all the stairs leading up to the flyover. Sigh. I climbed all the way up, sidestepping a beggar on the way. I reached the top and walked across to the other side, side stepping another beggar as well. Why do the beggars sit here anyway? Rich people do not use flyovers!

As soon as I reached the other side, a rapid showed up. Of course it didn't go to the jetty. I already knew that before I crossed the road. Why did I even bother then?

I looked at the time, it was already 12:45pm! Gasp! I still had to take a ferry across to Butterworth before I could catch my 1:30pm bus! Desperate times called for desperate measures, I needed transport badly. Hence the phone was brought out and my cousin's number was dialled.

"Hello? Sher Lynn, where are you?"


"In the bus lor..almost reaching KL already. Why?" 


"Argh!"


*click*

I called cousin number two.

"Hello, Yen Lynn, are you free now?"


"Nope, I'm working. Why?"


"Argh! I need transport to the jetty to catch my bus."


"Oh okay, you can try calling my dad and see."


"Okay okay." 


*click*

So I called my uncle next. I feel kinda bad because everybody was working. I told my uncle my location, and he said okay, he was going to pick me up at BHP petrol station. After hanging up the phone, I started looking for it.










And when I saw the outline of the building I almost fainted. It was SO FAR AWAY!



I wished it could be here, but no.





I hoped this was the furthest the petrol station would be, but no.





Nooooo. It had to be far far far away.





It was on the other side of the road, and located about a few hundred metres in front of the FIRST bus stop. Ah well, what did I expect. Things like that happen to me all the time. I was resigned to my fate. So I began walking towards the petrol station and only planned to cross the road when I got there.

Bad, bad decision.

By the time I got ALL THE WAY THERE,  I realized that crossing the road was impossible because of all the CARS. I mean, what's up with that?! CARPOOL PEOPLE! 


I spent the next 5 minutes trying to cross the road in vain before I realized my efforts were futile. I began my walk of shame ALL THE WAY BACK to the flyover. By then, I realized my uncle would reach the petrol station before me if I didn't hurry up now because I still had a long way to go. Fuelled by this thought, I started jogging.

To add on to that, the heat was so oppressive. I was getting impatient and irritated. It's hard to remain cheerful after all these obstacles, no? Don't judge me I'm only human!

So back to the jogging. I jogged all the way back to the flyover, up the stairs, jumped over the beggars and got back to the other side of the road. Then I began my journey back to the BHP station.

However, as I walked, I noticed something was not right. Wondering what it was, I looked up, and noticed that there were no cars! Strange. The whole road was free of cars. Just as I was wondering what was up, a whole gang of policemen in motorcycles appeared in the distance, riding in a V formation.You know, like when geese migrate or something, they fly in a V shape. That was exactly the shape of the formation.

Behind the policemen/geese people, were another 2 cars. Both were heavily tinted, the windows were so black you couldn't see through at all. Behind these cars were another 2 motorcycles. It was then that it occurred to me: It was the Agung!

I was so freaking annoyed at this revelation. It was the Agung that caused the lack of Rapids, caused me to walk all over the place and caused me to miss my bus! I mean I respect the Agung and all, but does he really need the whole road? Absurd! Before I could properly processed my thoughts, I heard a helicopter flying overhead. And I was like, the Agung needs a helicopter? SERIOUSLY?!

By then, the whole armada had reached where I was walking. As they passed by, I looked impatiently at them. They were actually so close I could have tapped on the window if I wanted to. But no, I needed to get to the petrol station.

To cut a already very long story short, I missed my bus and everything. And to add on to that, I had to borrow money from my uncle because I had no more money to buy my bus ticket. Completely broke.

As I was relating this story to my friend, he actually gasped out loud.

"Why? What?"


"Oh my goodness, I can't belive it."


"What what? Believe what? You're scaring me!"


"When the Agung passes by, you're supposed to stand up straight! Not continue walking and glaring at the Agung!"


"I wasn't glaring, I was just looking at him impatiently."


"You shouldn't even have been at the side of the road! There must be nothing at the side of the road out of respect for the Agung! You had to hide! Even cats have to be removed!"


Now I really don't know how much of what my friend said was true. But now that I come to think of it, the sidewalk was unnaturally empty. Prior to this, it was full of people. But really, after hearing what my friend said, I was laughing about it the whole day.

Just imagine, the Agung passes by and I have to hide behind a tree. What the heck? LOL.

And then compare that to what actually happened, that was me half-glaring at the Agung's car.

Now after I have taken my bath and cooled down, I begin to process information more rationally, and I concluded that nothing my friend said could possibly be true. I mean, even cats have to be removed? Animal cruelty much. And then to think that, after going through the trouble of killing all the cats along the road, the Agung might actually be sleeping in the car and saw nothing of the outside world, what a waste.

Oh well. It's things like these that makes life interesting.

On a side note: I'm featured as blogger of the week on Digi Woww Awards! Cool huh! XD






FYI: I'm the witty 17 year old perakian!
FFYI: I'm actually 18 this year.
FFFYI: And I was actually born in Pahang.

But other than that, YAY!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Motherfishing Instructor!!!

Last Saturday, I went nervously to Sepakat driving school for my QTI. It's a pre-test before the actual JPJ thing. Everyone keeps telling me it's no big deal, but still. You gotta pass this before you can take the JPJ test. So anyway...I went there and waited for like, an hour before there were any free instructors. I watched Anastatia and half of Legally Blonde on the TV there. (By the way, Legally Blonde is soooo stupid. Not in a good way.) Yes, that's how long I waited. I waited for one and a half movies. And then, I see my agent coming over to tell me who my instructor for QTI is. And I thought to myself:

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, please please please DON'T let it be Ah Yeow! 


Allow me to Flashback for a moment here to let you truly understand my pain.

Everyone has to pass Undang. After that, there's another 3hour talk, and a 3 hour orientation. The orientation part, an instructor from Sepakat is supposed to introduce you to parts of the car, you know, like:

Those are pedals near your feet.
Those are windows on the door. 
That is a cockroach on the backseat. 


And then, he's supposed to teach you how to press the pedals and let you drive around the compound for a bit.

Much to my extreme unluckiness, I got AH YEOW. This disgusting rat is the laziest thing on earth. I'm not even going to refer to him as being human. No positive comments about IT will be tolerated in this blog!

So anyway, the thing didn't teach me anything. Just told me to start the engine, then drive around. The thing didn't even explain all the pedals to me. The thing just said,

Now press the left pedal. Now press the middle pedal. Now press the right pedal.

Then, after 45 minutes of driving around, the thing said,


good. Now go and wait out the rest of the 2hours and 15minutes. 


I tell you, I was fuming. There is this system at the centre where you can't clock out before your 3hours is up. So I just sat there and waited! Ergghh. That seriously pissed me off.

Back to the story.

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, please please please DON'T let it be Ah Yeow! 


Then my agent reached where I was sitting.

Your instructor for today will be Ah Yeow. 


And I was like, oh gawd...


Ugh. I was groaning to myself. Then the thing said,

OK. Let's get your thumb print and we can start this thing.


5minutes later, still very nervous I must say, I was in the car. Checking my seatbelt and mirrors and all the other mandatory stuff. The thing was impatient. And the thing said,

Aiya, no need la. Just start the car and let's go. 


And I was like, whaaat? I mean, you'll fail if you don't do this during the test. But anyway, nervously, I started the car. And I went into first gear, and off we went! The thing told me to take route F. Futher along the way, I realized that there was a little problem with the gearbox. It wouldn't change smoothly and sometimes the gear stick would get stuck. Ahh! I was so nervous, I thought I was going to fail because of this. I quickly glanced towards the thing, and to my horror, he was holding my form in one hand, and a scissors in the other.



.the objects in the thing's hands

And I thought to myself,

Oh no! Was I so bad that he's going to cut up my form and told me I failed? Was I going to Fail?!!

And to my intense intense intense intense intense shock and horror, (really, there are no words to describe this):

the thing shoved the scissors UP HIS NOSE AND STARTED TRIMMING HIS NOSE HAIR. 

AND HE USED MY FORM TO COLLECT THE FALLING HAIR! EWWWWWWW. 

Indeed, I was so shocked and disgusted that my car swerved and I almost hit a monkey. 

The thing took no notice of this, and continued on with the disgusting, unsanitary act. I was no longer nervous at this point. In fact, when I told Wei Ling about this, she said I should have braked the car suddenly and let him cut his nose.

It doesn't end there. After finishing, he swept the hair from the paper ONTO MY FEET! Well, not exactly onto my feet, just towards my side of the car. Near the gearbox, which is, technically, MY FEET! What the hell is wrong with this guy?! I mean, come on! The window was open, throw it outside! Is that so hard? In fact, you don't even have to sweep it away, just let the wind blow it! Let mother nature take it's course. Maybe it will fall on some soil and grow nose hair trees or something. Bleh.

After that disgusting spectacle, the thing put the scissors down. Phew! Aah..but good things don't last long, do they? Directly after putting down the scissors, he picked up his tweezers, looked into the rearview mirror, and started PLUCKING AT HIS BEARD! 

Why?! Why can't he do these things at home? Seriously, what's wrong with him?!

After that was done, he started DIGGING HIS NOSE! EWWW. Some more he dig until so syok. He was really enjoying it. The whole finger actually entered into his nose. And then can see him digging up, digging down, digging left, digging right. Turning circles also got. Grosss. After that, he pulled out the mother of all boogers! It was HUGE!






.disgusting!!! UGH!!

Then the thing looked at it for awhile, as if admiring it. Then he tiack-ed it out of the window. THANK GOD!! Considering his tendencies to leave his 'products' at MY side of the car, I had one horrible moment where I could imagine he wanted to flick it towards the gearbox, mis-aimed, and it landed on my face instead. *shudders* 

And oh yes, how could I forget this! He took of his shoes during the whole time. The moment he took of his shoes...

HWAH!!

I thought I was going to die in there! I was trembling from the smell. Seriously. I closed my eyes and quickly exhaled out all the stink from my nose before it could reach my brain and cause Brain cancer. Thank goodness the window was open. I turn towards the right, literally stuck my head out of the window, and took in a big whiff of oxygen. I took in as much as I can. I can't be sticking my head out of the window every few seconds. Who knows when my next breath of fresh air will be?

Considering all the factors, the nose hair, the boogers, the stinky feet. It was a miracle I passed this thing. The gearbox PALES in comparison.  

Haih. I just wanted my liscence man. =(

THE END