The Impossible

I never thought the day would come. The day where I would voluntarily get into a dress.

It was for Interact Installation. Anyway, my friend made a good point. She said if I didn't go, I would be the only one who has never attended a formal event. Which kinda sucks. I so don't want to be left out. It's not cool.

Maybe years later, my friends would be all,

'Hey, remember the time we were in formal wear?'

And the others would be like,

'Oh, yeah, yeah! That was fun!'

And I would be like,

'No...' =(

So came the impulsive decision. The first step was to tell my mum. Which I thought would be kinda tricky. I'm like unofficially grounded or something. Mana tau...in the end she so happy sampai drag me all over Taiping to find the dress. What a waste of time fretting about it. I guess she was just glad that I finally wore a dress.

I know this because she said,

'Finally, you wear a dress.' 

And my dad too. Though he didn't really know what was up. He just saw my status on facebook and over-hyped himself. I should really use this to my advantage. I see a car in the near future. Heh Heh.

(Click here to see the drama queen in action.)

So my mum took me to go dress hunting. I was cringing internally through the whole process. Even now, every time I time I type the word 'dress', I shiver. Seriously. Look.

Dress.

*shivers*

See?

Since I have virtually zero experience in this, I had no choice but to have faith in my mum's taste. Yes, that's how inexperienced I am. The event was at night and I was buying the dress *shivers* in the afternoon. The only other person I had contact with on such short notice was my younger brother. It would be highly illogical to ask him instead of my mum. Highly, highly, illogical.

So basically, my mum dragged me to all these shops or boutiques and picked out dresses for me. I just stood at the corner waiting, intimidated by all the clothes. Then, my mum would throw a pile of dresses at me and told me to go try them on.

This is the part that made me blurr. BLURR.

So I went into the fitting room, (DUH). Changing outside for the world to see would be so degrading...and in Malaysia, possibly illegal. But the fitting rooms aren't that great either. They basically just consist of 3 very unstable wall-like things and a flimsy curtain. I have never felt more insecure.
What if a huge gust of wind suddenly blew the curtains apart?

Damn the tiny boutiques.

So next I look at the pile of clothes. I don't know which one to try on first. This is such a bad idea. I sigh and get on with it anyway. I closed my eyes and pulled one out at random.

And I pulled out a purple dress.

And I thought to myself, 'Right. I'll just put this on and get it over with.'

And then I realised...I didn't know how to put in on. Lame, I know! But these things are actually very complicated! I was searching everywhere for zippers and buttons...in vain I must add. There were none. Zero. Nil. Zilch.

Without the very vital zippers/buttons, how was I supposed to put the damn thing on?! See...this is what happens when all you wear all T-shirts and jeans.

In the end, I concluded that the only way to put it on was to pull it over my head. I simply could not find any other alternate way of wearing it. So I pulled it on...and I couldn't go any further. I only got my neck through.

So, slowly, I tried putting the right arm through first. That failed. Then I tried with my left arm, which failed too. Then I tried it with both arms simultaneously. I don't know why I did that. If I couldn't get ONE arm through, what makes me think that I can get BOTH arms through?

I must have been in there for at least 5 minutes trying to put in on. In the end, I managed to force my way into it. Thank God.

It was then that I saw myself in the mirror. IT WAS HORRIFYING! I looked like a freaking transsexual. Well, maybe not to the untrained eye, but I don't remember ever seeing myself wearing a dress and suddenly...formal wear? Whoa! Baby steps!

Then my mum impatiently said,

'Quickly come out and let me see how you look.'


'Uhh...I'd rather not. I look weird. I'l just try on the next one.'

'What! Let me see first lah!'


And then she yanked open the curtain. And then she laughed. Erghhh.

'I told you I looked weird!'


Insulted, I pulled back the curtains with more force than necessary. This is so SO out of my comfort zone. Outside, I heard my mum telling me to try on the next one. And then I groaned. Oh God...I forgot there were more.

And this is where the weird part comes in. Taking it off was actually ten times harder than putting it on.

I pulled and I yanked and I squirmed and I squeezed but to no avail. It just refused to come off. At the same time, I was afraid the dress would be ripped apart from the force or something. But in the end, I decided to just pull it off with one swift motion. If it refused to come off, I'll just continue pulling it until it does. That was my strategy.

Poorly planned, terribly executed. 

The motion of pulling was what nobody would ever relate to as 'swift'. It was more towards 'klutzy'. And the time when I said I was going to continue pulling until it came off? Yeah, I petty much stopped that when I heard a noise which sounded alarmingly ripp-y-ish.

In the end, I got stuck with one arm out around my head, permanently fixated at that angle. The other was still inside squashed awkwardly, bent like a chicken wing. It looked so much like a chicken wing that it made me want to cry. Why was I looking like a crippled chicken? I was supposed to be miraculously awesome-looking. No...I wanted the opposite of this. =(

Moving on, because of the arm that stuck out, there wasn't much place left for my neck. The result, it got bent at this weird, painful angle. Perpendicularly 90 degrees to my arm. Ouch. I looked like a yoga master...a yogi if you will.

So all in all, yes people. I got stuck.

After accepting the fact that I couldn't move even ONE more centimeter, I decided the only thing left to do was to call for help. Which was so embarrassing. I'm freaking 17 years old and I can't take off a dress. Well, Kudos to me. Trying not to let the sales girl hear (humiliating much), I whispered to my mum telling her I couldn't take it off.

And my mum was so clueless! I was like,

'Mummy...mummy..!'


'What?'


'I have a problem...'


'Huh? I can't hear you. What did you say again?'


'I can't take it off...'


'You what? 


'Shhh! Not so loud! I said..I can't...take it...off!'


'Eh? Wear finish already is it? Then come out and let me see!'


And then she freaking pulls open the curtain.

I gasped. I was like, half-naked trying to take off the damn thing. My semi-nakedness was opened for the world to see. And the fitting room was so small, there were only so many places to hide. I was fervently trying to hop out of view. Yes, hop. Remember, my pose at that time wasn't optimum for escaping.

Boy was I mad.

'Whey! Close the curtain!'


'I thought you said you finished changing already.'


'NOOO. I said I couldn't take it off! How does that even remotely sound like: 


I'm done and not semi-naked! You may now open the curtains and reveal my fully-clothed body for the world to see?!' 


'How would I know what you were mumbling about? And why are you taking so long?'


'I'm stuck.'


'Stuck? How did you manage to do that?'


'I don't know okay. Will you please help me take it off now?'


'You didn't unzip or unbutton is it?'


'NO. I searched through the whole dress. There ARE no zips or buttons.'


And so with our combined efforts, we pulled and yanked and squirmed and squeezed again. It took so long, even my mum was starting to get worried. The time taken definitely passed the five-minute mark. And finally, just when we were both at our wits end, the dress came off. PHEW.

I chased my mum out and gratefully put my own clothes back on. Ahh. The comfort of T-shirts and jeans. I decided not to try any more dresses there. Partly because I was traumatized, but mostly I was so embarrassed. The whole shop heard the whole commotion. Just as I was about to come out, I noticed something on the dress.

It was a zip.

I could not believe my eyes. How did I miss that?! Upon further investigation,I realized it was one of those hidden zippers that cannot be seen from the outside. Now who would go and invent something stupid like that?! Stupid advanced zipper technology.

Designers these days. Now if I were a designer, my designs would be chic, simple, sexy, yet elegant at the same time. Something that designers all over the world have failed to produce in recent years. I would be rich and famous with the likes of Beyonce ordering a gown months in advance and burn money for fun. Oh, and it would have millions of zippers all over the place.

Examples of gowns I would design:

The Deep 'V'.
Specialty: The deep 'V' cuts all the way down across your stomach and ends just an inch above your...you now where. So ladies, be sure to clean your belly button before wearing this beauty.

The Deep 'U'
Specialty: For the more daring ones who think that the deep 'V' is way too conservative, then the deep 'U' is the right dress for you! This dress boasts a plunging neckline...very plunging indeed. The best thing about this dress? No need for belly-button cleaning!

Infiniti.

More to come..the deep 'O's', the deep 'W's'...and many more dresses will be added to this exciting collection!

Well, there is an ending to the story. I got sidetracked. Finally at the seventh shop, my mum found a dress that didn't make me look like a gorilla. And the shoes! She kept insisting that I wear heels! I told her the dress was my limit and I couldn't take in anymore. It was too overwhelming. But my mum kept on saying that if I didn't wear heels, then I wouldn't look nice in the dress. And I said something along the lines of yeah right. Everyone looks at my shoes.

Fast forward a few hours later, and I'm getting ready for this thing. I really had no patience for this dress thing, and I stood in front of the mirror looking at myself impatiently. I had my hands on my hips and all that. My mum walked by and she gasped when she saw me.

'That is so unlady-like!'

And then she spent the next 30 minutes teaching me how to walk properly. LAME!

I'll continue this another day...possibly after SPM. I'm too damn lazy. Haha. Goodbye people!

A normal day in my life

I'm just going to type whatever I feel like typing today. I'm bored. Contrary to popular believe, weird things don't happen to me everyday. I have nothing better to do anyway. My mum told me to study and I was like, HELLLL NO. Well, Here I go.

So my mum dragged me out of bed at 6.15 am today.

My mum was all 'Wake up!'

And I was all 'Uhh..Mmhm...'

And my mum was like 'Quickly, you're late! It's 7 already!'


I don't know why I fall for this every time. She has been using it for the past few days. Maybe I'm still not fully functioning in the morning. Ah well, It works anyway.

I jumped out of bed. Not jumped. Rolled, maybe. Then I went to brush my teeth but the Colgate was almost finishing. Being the ever lazy me, I was reluctant to walk the 3 steps to the drawer outside to grab a new tube. Instead, I decided to squeeze and  force the toothpaste out, injuring my hand in the process.

In the end, I only managed to squeeze out a little toothpaste. Like, 1/10 of my normal amount. I looked at it and I was like, Meh. Better than nothing. So I proceeded to brush my teeth. 5seconds later, the toothpaste was all gone. I was brushing my teeth with a toothbrush without toothpaste. And it actually hurts.

Halfway through, I was bleeding all over my mouth. And I was STILL to lazy to get new toothpaste. There is something very wrong with me.

.Keep bleeding...keep keep bleeding...

After valiantly swallowing all my blood, I went to take my bath. You know, it's morning, it's cold. Of course you're gonna use hot water. Who doesn't? So like always, I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, expecting hot water to come out because that's what happens every morning. I assumed today would be no different. I mean, why would I doubt the heater? It has never betrayed me before.

But anyway, being the ever trusting me, I turned it on without checking. And then this HUGE jet of FREAKING ICY cold water exploded out from the shower. I swear, the water was especially huge and especially cold and especially wet (if that's possible). The heater was mocking me. And the water drenched my poor, vulnerable, heat-intolerant body from head to toe. After that, I was dancing sakai dance all over the bathroom for 5 minutes straight.

.I look like a spider. =D

Fast forward a few steps. I'm in the middle of buttoning my shirt when I notice that one button was missing. Where did it go? Guess I'll never know. Fast forward a little bit more, and I'm eating breakfast. I had Cheerios. In fact, I have been having Cheerios for the past few months. I'm on a major Cheerios binge, and I'm eating Cheerios like it's my job. Being the ever hungry me, I was sad to find out that my Cheerios supply was running low. Only 4 more boxes left in the cupboard. Hmm. I must remind my mum to stock up later. 

I'm in school now. No, don't ask me how I got here and how I got here so fast. I'm too damn lazy to type out the journey. So just imagine I flew here or something. Anyway, today is the day before Hari Kemerdekaan, where 53 years ago, some now-alredy-dead-people went to London for a holiday, and then came back yelling Merdeka all over the place. 

Nobody knows the exact reason for all that yelling. Maybe London had great alcohol....or awesome crack. I also seem to remember that they yelled 'Unity for all!'. And so that is how Hari Kemerdekaan came about, to remember the multi-racial drunk/high dudes who were yelling in the middle of the streets. 

To pay homage to these people, our school held the lamest, most un-patriotic celebration ever. We were given a reusable Jalur Gemilang each. After ensuring that we all had flags in our hands, we were deemed patriotic enough to kick off this thing. We sang NegaraKu, like always. And then we sang our school song. Weirdddd. 

And then came the worst part. We had to listen to these lame lame lame speeches written by some parliament dude. And it WAS NOT a speech. It was a NOVEL. And I don't think it was only ONE speech. I think there were THREE. I can't be sure...I wasn't listening. By the time the novels were over with, the sun was being all happy and shining all over the place. 

But seriously, the sun was extra hot today. So I actually was thanking God for the cold shower just now. Maybe it was Independence day or whatever, the sun was just really really very...uhh...trying to prove its sun-liness. 

. A side of the sun you never knew.

What else? Oh..we decided to climb Bukit Larut tomorrow, so good luck to us.

Motherfishing Instructor!!!

Last Saturday, I went nervously to Sepakat driving school for my QTI. It's a pre-test before the actual JPJ thing. Everyone keeps telling me it's no big deal, but still. You gotta pass this before you can take the JPJ test. So anyway...I went there and waited for like, an hour before there were any free instructors. I watched Anastatia and half of Legally Blonde on the TV there. (By the way, Legally Blonde is soooo stupid. Not in a good way.) Yes, that's how long I waited. I waited for one and a half movies. And then, I see my agent coming over to tell me who my instructor for QTI is. And I thought to myself:

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, please please please DON'T let it be Ah Yeow! 


Allow me to Flashback for a moment here to let you truly understand my pain.

Everyone has to pass Undang. After that, there's another 3hour talk, and a 3 hour orientation. The orientation part, an instructor from Sepakat is supposed to introduce you to parts of the car, you know, like:

Those are pedals near your feet.
Those are windows on the door. 
That is a cockroach on the backseat. 


And then, he's supposed to teach you how to press the pedals and let you drive around the compound for a bit.

Much to my extreme unluckiness, I got AH YEOW. This disgusting rat is the laziest thing on earth. I'm not even going to refer to him as being human. No positive comments about IT will be tolerated in this blog!

So anyway, the thing didn't teach me anything. Just told me to start the engine, then drive around. The thing didn't even explain all the pedals to me. The thing just said,

Now press the left pedal. Now press the middle pedal. Now press the right pedal.

Then, after 45 minutes of driving around, the thing said,


good. Now go and wait out the rest of the 2hours and 15minutes. 


I tell you, I was fuming. There is this system at the centre where you can't clock out before your 3hours is up. So I just sat there and waited! Ergghh. That seriously pissed me off.

Back to the story.

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, please please please DON'T let it be Ah Yeow! 


Then my agent reached where I was sitting.

Your instructor for today will be Ah Yeow. 


And I was like, oh gawd...


Ugh. I was groaning to myself. Then the thing said,

OK. Let's get your thumb print and we can start this thing.


5minutes later, still very nervous I must say, I was in the car. Checking my seatbelt and mirrors and all the other mandatory stuff. The thing was impatient. And the thing said,

Aiya, no need la. Just start the car and let's go. 


And I was like, whaaat? I mean, you'll fail if you don't do this during the test. But anyway, nervously, I started the car. And I went into first gear, and off we went! The thing told me to take route F. Futher along the way, I realized that there was a little problem with the gearbox. It wouldn't change smoothly and sometimes the gear stick would get stuck. Ahh! I was so nervous, I thought I was going to fail because of this. I quickly glanced towards the thing, and to my horror, he was holding my form in one hand, and a scissors in the other.

.the objects in the thing's hands

And I thought to myself,

Oh no! Was I so bad that he's going to cut up my form and told me I failed? Was I going to Fail?!!

And to my intense intense intense intense intense shock and horror, (really, there are no words to describe this):

the thing shoved the scissors UP HIS NOSE AND STARTED TRIMMING HIS NOSE HAIR. 

AND HE USED MY FORM TO COLLECT THE FALLING HAIR! EWWWWWWW. 

Indeed, I was so shocked and disgusted that my car swerved and I almost hit a monkey. 

The thing took no notice of this, and continued on with the disgusting, unsanitary act. I was no longer nervous at this point. In fact, when I told Wei Ling about this, she said I should have braked the car suddenly and let him cut his nose.

It doesn't end there. After finishing, he swept the hair from the paper ONTO MY FEET! Well, not exactly onto my feet, just towards my side of the car. Near the gearbox, which is, technically, MY FEET! What the hell is wrong with this guy?! I mean, come on! The window was open, throw it outside! Is that so hard? In fact, you don't even have to sweep it away, just let the wind blow it! Let mother nature take it's course. Maybe it will fall on some soil and grow nose hair trees or something. Bleh.

After that disgusting spectacle, the thing put the scissors down. Phew! Aah..but good things don't last long, do they? Directly after putting down the scissors, he picked up his tweezers, looked into the rearview mirror, and started PLUCKING AT HIS BEARD! 

Why?! Why can't he do these things at home? Seriously, what's wrong with him?!

After that was done, he started DIGGING HIS NOSE! EWWW. Some more he dig until so syok. He was really enjoying it. The whole finger actually entered into his nose. And then can see him digging up, digging down, digging left, digging right. Turning circles also got. Grosss. After that, he pulled out the mother of all boogers! It was HUGE!

.disgusting!!! UGH!!

Then the thing looked at it for awhile, as if admiring it. Then he tiack-ed it out of the window. THANK GOD!! Considering his tendencies to leave his 'products' at MY side of the car, I had one horrible moment where I could imagine he wanted to flick it towards the gearbox, mis-aimed, and it landed on my face instead. *shudders* 

And oh yes, how could I forget this! He took of his shoes during the whole time. The moment he took of his shoes...

HWAH!!

I thought I was going to die in there! I was trembling from the smell. Seriously. I closed my eyes and quickly exhaled out all the stink from my nose before it could reach my brain and cause Brain cancer. Thank goodness the window was open. I turn towards the right, literally stuck my head out of the window, and took in a big whiff of oxygen. I took in as much as I can. I can't be sticking my head out of the window every few seconds. Who knows when my next breath of fresh air will be?

Considering all the factors, the nose hair, the boogers, the stinky feet. It was a miracle I passed this thing. The gearbox PALES in comparison.  

Haih. I just wanted my liscence man. =(

THE END

Boom Baby

You know, the other day when I was studying my Chemistry, I flipped pass a page that made me remember something lawak. So it was the periodic table, and about the elements in Group 1. For people who hasn't, or doesn't intend to, or has had but forgotten, let me give you a crash course.




The diagram above is the Periodic Table. See group 1? It's the first row (duh!) from the left. So you should be seeing Lithuim L, Sodium Na, and Potassium K. Okay, the reactivity in this group increases as it goes down the group.
So in terms of explosion:

Lithuim-----> boom
Sodium-----> BOOM
Potassium---> BOOOOOOM 


Get the picture? Sadly enough, explosions are considered 'dangerous' and 'hazardous'. We aren't 'allowed' to play with 'fire'. We could only put the stuff in water. Pffft. Lame, I know. Luckily enough for me though, 4sc3 is able to make anything awesome. Like, AWESOME!!! Time for the flashback.

A year ago, Chemistry Lab.
'Hari ini kita buat experiment! Tengok reactivity Lithuim, Soduim dan Potassium!' Junaidah yelled.

You had to yell in our class. Anything below yelling can't be heard. It's a fact. And Juniadah was so tiny. She has to yell to be seen anyway. Cute little thing. Just imagine her controlling OUR class. 4sc3. The most dreaded class. Our stand out point is laziness and noise.

'Ini Lithuim! We put Lithuim in water and see the reactivity! Then we compare observation! Tengok yang mana react lebih dashyat!'

We watched impatiently as the teacher took out a pair of thongs, take out a jar, remove the lid, and carefully take out a piece of metal. (Oooh..shiny.) Then she put the metal on a piece of paper, and then take out a knife and cut off a small portion. Then she use the thongs to pick up the metal and put it back in...

This was taking too long. My class cannot duduk diam-diam mia, how you expect us to sit still for so long? Then somebody asked,

'Kenapa cikgu? Racun ke?' cause, according to the book, its not.

'Taklah, saya tak mau kotorkan tangan.' 

And we were all whaaaat...


Anyway, the teacher was taking too freaking long, the noise started to build up. Soon there was noise everywhere, I'm not joking. Frequent exposure to this can really lead to loss of hearing. And my tiny little teacher was like,

'Diam! Diam! Duduk dan tengok!' She was still capping the lid but the noise was overwhelming. It's like, a sea of noise coming from all sides. Un-blockable. And still, the noise was increasing. You'd think there would be a limit to how loud noise can be, but you're wrong.

Clumsily, she quickly filled a bowl with water and threw the metal in. Then she used the mic and shouted

'Tengok dia react! Tengok dia react!' 

Nobody listened at first, but then we heard a fizzing noise. We all turned to look. And there it was, the most adorable thing. The Lithuim was just zipping across on top of the water.

Zip Zip Zip..


'Ooooooh...' everyone became quiet and watched the thing. 


Pleased that the noise finally stopped, she tried explaining the science behind the thing, but of course the noise started increasing again. And the teacher was like, no..no..oh gawd just make the noise stop!
And in a moment of desperation, she said,

'Soduim lebih dashyat lagi!'


We all shaddup-ed immediately, excited to see more action. The teacher then picked up the thongs again. We groaned. Not again. The noise increased, increased, increased. The teacher knew it was coming. She frantically threw the thongs away, yanked off the lid, and took out the metal with her bare hands. Then she seperated a small piece of metal with her fingernails. Fingernails. She must be desperate dude.

'Ini soduim! Ini Soduim!' And then she threw the thing into the water.

This soduim was even more awesome than Lithuim. It became like, a silvery ball that zipped so fast across the surface, it was a white blur to us. It also left behind a trail of foam or something, it was so beautiful. After burning itself out, it went 'pop'.

We applauded! Again again! we demanded. And then the students at the back said

'Cikgu, tak tengok lah! Guna soduim tu besar sikit!'

We were so excited the noise started building up again. And the teacher said,
  
'Ok, ok! saya bagi kamu semua keluar ke longkang di luar tengok sendiri!' 


Totally unorthodox, but she just wanted to get rid of the noise.

Whooo! Like a riot, we stormed out of the class, yelling

Soduim! Soduim! Soduim!

We crowded around the drain further up. The drain was quite deep. Then we had a mini countdown as we dropped the thing in. Almost immediately the Soduim started zipping across the water. We were all cheering for that single tiny piece of metal. Like jungle people. Some Form threes on the way to the Science lab walked by us and joined in the fun. They too were amazed at the beauty of Soduim. And much too soon, the soduim went 'pop'. We went awwwww! Everyone was sad to see it go.

Just then, Stanley ran out from the Chemistry lab, laughing like a happy lil girl. In his hand, he carried a large piece of metal. We cheered! The thing in the size of his hand was HUGE. Comparatively:

The teacher ran out from the class. 

'Jangan main-mian! Bahaya! Bawa balik! Jangan ambil begitu besar! BAHAYA!' She shouted. 

But she was helpless. Stanley already reached the drain and threw it in. Wow I swear, before the thing even hit the water it already started reacting. And this metal was just a-ma-zing. Like Soduim, it zipped around the water. And you know what? This metal was actually on fire! Imagine that! On fire in water! We were all amazed. Our heads were practically in the drain trying to look at the thing.

"Wow, what metal is this?" I asked Stanley while gazing at the beautiful fire resistant thing.

"Potassium , I think." He answered, gazing at the waterproof fireball too. 

I snapped out of my trance.

"What did you say? Potassium?'

"Uh huh"

"Isn't that like, below Soduim?" 

(Silence)

"Oh crap. Run eveyone! RUN!" 

Ahhhhhhh!! Everyone ran away like a drunkards. I even saw my friends bang into each other. Before I could even laugh, I heard the explosion. Think of it this way. If a tiny piece of Soduim let off a 'pop' sound, imagine the sound a larger, more reactive piece of metal would make.

It went Boom! And then the water from the drain splashed out like a fountain. Seriously. It went about 2feet high, and just splashed everywhere.

.splashing everywhere.

. comparing its height

And then Junaidah came out and started scolding us. Totally unfair. We didn't do anything wrong besides stand beside a drain. Then she chased away the form 3 students who were so happy. I bet they couldn't wait to get into form4.

"Masuk balik! Masuk balik! Nanti rehat TAK BOLEH keluar!" The teacher chased us back in like chickens. She even tried to chase one form 3 student in. Poor girl.


Despite being deprived of our recess, we went back in happily anyway. All the while talking and yakking away, much to the teacher's despair. The bell rang. Everyone stood up to go out.

"Nanti! Saya kata TAK BOLEH keluar! Duduk!"


"Te-ri-maaaa kaaaaa-sihhhhh ciiiiiiik-guuuu!"


Then we keluar-ed.

The End.

Weird Dream

  So I had a dream. I dreamt that I woke up in the middle of the night. And then for some weird reason, I went to open the fridge. (Is my dream trying to tell me I'm fat?!)

  Anyway, I go to the kitchen. (Because my fridge is in the kitchen. Duh. Who puts their kitchen in the living room?) Then I walk towards the fridge. But even though I have walked for a long time, I can't reach it. So I start to run. I run and run. The fridge gets a little bit closer. I don't know why I want to open the fridge so badly. All I can remember feeling is that I MUST open the fridge. So I run faster and faster. And finally, the fridge gets nearer and nearer. Finally I reach it.

 I put my hand on the handle. Then I stand there and I think: Should I? What if there's something frightening in the fridge? It's in the middle of the night, and I didn't even on any lights.

  But the feeling inside my body just grew stronger. It said: Open the fridge. Open it. Open it NOW!


  It grew so strong that I just had to give in. And so I did.

  I opened the door, and I opened it slowly. The door made a creaking sound. (I don't know why it does. The fridge is new.) The light from the fridge lights up, giving the contents of the fridge a spooky glow. Dramatic music starts playing in the background. Then, cautiously, slowly, carefully, I look inside.

  And nothing could prepare me for it's contents. I got the shock of my life.

  (Before reading on, RELAX. It's not a nightmare. I actually thought I was going to have one while dreaming it myself.)

  The inside of the fridge, was filled with..CHOCOLATES! So filled up that you couldn't even stuff one more thing inside it. And every chocolate I have ever eaten in my life was inside that fridge. Seriously. There were

KITKATs TIMEOUTs CRUNCHYs PICNICs ANDES' TOBLERONEs CADBURYs CLOUDNINEs HERSHEY's BERYLs ZIPBARs! MARSBARs! TWIXBARs! GODIVAs EASTEREGGs NESTLEs...

  I'm telling you...it was beautiful. And no...this is not the weird part. Wanna know what the weird part is? Wait for it...Wait for it...


 In the middle of all those chocolates..there was...

  AN ONION

  Explain, anyone?

The chicken rice shop

Hello people of this world! Im supposed to be memorizing my aural now, but i had chicken rice yesterday!

'So what?' I can hear you say. Its just chicken rice, right?

Wrong!

Its NOT just chicken rice! Don't ever talk about chicken rice like that! Its the most delicious-looking, mouth-watering, spine-tingling, finger-licking, saliva-triggering, great-tasting chicken in the world!!

And because it was soooo good, i had to ask for the recipe! So I went to the cook, and he happily gave me his recipe. Uhh..actually, I had to tie him to a chair and beat him until he gave it to me. But anyway! Here it is! From the chicken rice shoppp..*sings chicken rice shop's song*

Chicken Rice Receipi
Stolen by created by: April Melody Tan Hui En

Add Maths Equation.
1) Take Chicken and substitute into rice
2) Take equation one and add to equation 2.
3) Chicken + Rice = ?


A. Duck Rice
B. Fish Porridge
C. Fried Prawns

Haha..just joking. The answer is so simple. Of course its,

TURKEY DRUMSTICK!

hahahha..